So much has changed since September, you guys! Remember? Remember when we were all like, “Who is Juliet? What does she want? Why does she always wear suit jackets that are longer than her skirts?” We were so young then. We know devious Big J a bit better now. (Although the jackets are still a total mystery. Blech). We know what she’s up to — she, along with big brother Ben and two-faced Colin, are planning to grind Serena into the dirt — but how and why are still unclear. What’s her endgame? When is she going to do something more sinister than fail to keep Serena out of a sorority? And why go to all this trouble to attack someone who, for all her faults, is almost always sweet? Here are our current theories.
Credit: Giovanni Rufino/The CW © 2010 The CW Network Photo: Juliet in Episode 4.5, "Goodbye, Columbia"

1. Ben is in jail because of the guy Serena killed. Think: What’s the worst thing Serena’s ever done? She’s said it herself: She killed a dude. Okay, his death was an accidental OD, but S is the one who suggested the drugs, and she’s always blamed herself for his death. Maybe someone else blames her, too — someone who ended up taking the fall for a hotel room chock full o’ drugs and a dead dude, maybe?

2. Ben is buds with Serena’s dad. What other fiasco has Serena been involved with that might land a guy in jail? Well, there was that time her dad skipped town just ahead of charges of blackmail and writing phony prescriptions. Dr. Van Der Woodsen got away scot free for his misdeeds, but maybe Ben wasn’t so lucky, and he’s decided to take it out on the good doctor’s darling daughter.

3. Juliet is just jealous because Serena gets to wear colors and complete jackets. Juliet, we agree that your wardrobe sucks, but there’s no need to take it out on Serena — just get on over to Anthropologie, get yourself some affordable, non-weird outfits, and we promise your need for fashion revenge will fade.

4. Juliet and her buds are Gossip Girl superfans.Who among us hasn’t wanted to reach through the TV screen and teach one of the Gossip Girl characters a lesson when they’re being particularly bratty? The readers of the fictional Gossip Girl’s blog probably feel the same way. Juliet just took things one step further and decided to actually teach Serena some manners in person.

5. It’s all an elaborate double cross. Juliet seems awfully torn about what she’s doing to Serena. Maybe it’s all just a ruse and she’s actually on Serena’s side, planning to flush these evildoers out before they can do real harm. Of course, that would mean Serena was in cahoots with Juliet the whole time, and smart enough to keep it a secret. We love S, but... no.

Have other burning questions that need to be answered? Try these:

How Tall Are The Gossip Girl Stars?

Anatomy of an Outfit: Juliet Goes Over to the Dark Side