After Monday’s huuuge Gossip Girl episode, we’ve clocked many-a head scratch over the state of Blair’s now-official marriage. Sure, we’re glad she fled! We never even liked Prince Louis (Hugo Becker)! But, seriously, she can’t run forever ― so what happens next? And in the meantime, WHAT THE HECK WAS LOUIS THINKING?

The last thing we’d wanna do if someone had just publicly shamed our relaysh is MARRY THEM, and yet that’s just what Prince Louis chose to do. And he didn’t do it because he forgave Blair (Leighton Meester) ― nope, he did it seemingly for spite. Triple ugh!

So, WHY did Louis return to the dark side to deliver one last ― we hope last, anyway ― zinger to the ‘shippers? Here are our theories…

Credit: Giovanni Rufino/The CW 2011 The CW Network Photo: Blair and Louis Dance in Season 5, Episode 13: "G.G."

The guy still loves Blair
Maybe that evil look in his eye at the reception was a mere front because the dude is actually seriously bummed about what just went down. These two have been through a lot, and for whatever reason they still landed at this day because Louis has consistently overlooked the obvious fact that Blair loves huck (Ed Westwick). He’s even defied his mother’s wishes in favor of B! And we suspect it might just be because… he actually loves her. (Obviously, Louis isn’t much for the old adage, “If you love someone, let them go.”) To which we say: Uhh, sorry, sucka! Chair 4 evaaa!

The guy never loved Blair
Then again, maybe this was his plan all along. Maybe he was always all “ready, set, go!” for an arranged marriage, and this one suited him just fine. Why else would he refuse to see the truth on so.many.occasions.? We could see conflicts here with those hints of glee at baby news, etc., but maybe the guy is darker than we realized…

He was just following orders
Sure, Louis’ mom has done little to endear herself to us, the at-home audience, but she’s also trying to save royal face in what she foresaw (hello, smart!) as being an accident waiting to happen. How best to squelch the rumors and keep this brouhaha under wraps? Push sonny to say “I do” and be done with it. These royals know a thing or two about loveless marriages ― so we hear ― and she’s been emotionless from the start on this mess. Maybe in his state of bummed-outed-ness, Louis just took the advice of the first person to offer it.

Or mayyybe he’s just totally embarrassed and wants it all to be over?
Sure, he was evil at the reception, but it’s been a rough couple of days ― let’s face it, YEAR ― for Louis. First he and B are gonna have a baby, then she’s not sure it’s his (serious ouch!), and then he hears on multiple occasions that his lady is still in love with her ex (and maybe her new bff)? Let’s face it: THE SITUATION SUCKS. He’s the Prince of Monaco and he’s gotta keep up appearances, lest a public scandal breaks out. Maybe he’s feeling defeated and figures if it can’t be the perfect day, it can still at least look like the perfect day. (We’ll be honest, if Louis were a friend of ours, we’d feel totally bad for the guy...)

Whatever the case, the take-away here is clear, folks (and, uhh, it shoulda been obvious from the start) ― never, ever say “I do” within twenty minutes of hearing an audio recording of your fiancee professing love to another man...

TELL US: What’s YOUR best guess for Louis’ motives?

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