It’s Valentine’s Day and everyone is handling it gracefully, allowing the romance of the day to strengthen their relationships without putting undue stress on them. Just kidding. We all know that’s not how V-Day works — even on a televised fantasy. What really happened is everyone freaks out.
Blair starts the day believing she has things well under control. Throwing herself into her new job at W, she scores a coup by convincing her new pal Raina to let W profile her. In the meantime, Serena learns Chuck’s feelings for Raina are real and, hoping to spare her BFF the pain of following Chuck’s new girlfriend around all Valentine’s Day, persuades Raina to call it off. Blair plots revenge (naturally), which leaves her little time to read the article Dan wants her to pass around the Conde Nast offices. She does, of course, take time to mock it.
Serena doesn’t want to put too much pressure on her new relationship with Ben, so they decide to skip Valentine’s Day. Ben’s on the same page, since he’s too broke to even buy her a beer. Dan manages to snag Ben a catering job — which a revenge-bound Blair ensures is at Chuck’s party. Blair orchestrates a face-to-face where Ben learns Serena didn’t stay in for mani-pedis like she said, Serena learns Ben isn’t tutoring like he said, and W’s camera crew learns that the fabulous S is dating an ex-con. An unusually well-executed scheme, even for Blair. Later, after Blair’s apologized for trying to ruin her best friend’s life, and Serena accepts because she’s used to it, Ben and Serena kiss and make up and happily ignore the fact that their relationship can’t go 30 seconds without this kind of angst and they are doomed, doomed, doomed.
The fabulous party du jour is Chuck’s Valentines Day bash, which he’s throwing to impress the Thorpes. Raina is charmed by Chuck’s romantic excess, but Russell is a little harder to impress: He demands that Chuck fire Lily (who, remember, is also Russell’s ex) from the Bass Industries board. Chuck, desperate to save his father’s legacy, does so — alienating Lily, leaving Raina disgusted with his lack of loyalty to family, and taking out one of Russell’s enemies for him. Things are looking bad for Chuckles, but frankly, if he didn’t see this coming maybe he shouldn’t be in charge of a major corporation.
Blair is so shaken by the realization that Chuck’s feelings for Raina are real that she allows approximately five seconds of hand-holding with Dan Humphrey without once spraying him with mace. She also admits that her “refusal” to read Dan’s article all day was just her idea of funsies — she actually read it, promoted it, and is getting it published. Dan and Blair find themselves ending the evening on the phone, curled up in their respective beds, watching Rosemary’s Baby simultaneously. We find ourselves increasingly attached to this whole Dair thing...
The prize for the very worst Valentine’s Day goes to little Eric. After selflessly spending the day volunteering for Meals On Wheels, Eric ends the day getting pulled into an alley by Damien, who threatens to expose Lily’s Ben-related misdeeds unless Eric does his unspecified bidding. Yikes! Time for Little J to come back to town and save him, no? She was way better at Damien’s job than he ever was.
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Forget what happened on last week’s episode? Read our recap for Gossip Girl Season 4, Episode 14: “Panic Roommate.”
For an early look at next week's episode, check out photos from Gossip Girl Season 4, Episode 15: "While You Weren't Sleeping" below!