It’s officially the night we’ve been waiting for: Our last Cristina-focused episode of Grey’s Anatomy before Sandra Oh makes her final exit from our favorite show forever. We try not to think about it, but like it or not, it’s happening.

What’s lucky for us is that although our vision of Cristina’s future is limited to her remaining episodes, thanks to tonight’s ep, we get to see what Cristina’s life would be like, had she made just one decision differently.

And it. Was. Epic. But if you missed it, never fear! Of course you should catch up via your DVR/Hulu, but if you’re pressed for time, we’ve got you covered.

Here’s what you need to know about tonight’s episode, Season 10, Episode 17: “Do You Know?”

The episode starts off with a bang: Sparked by seeing a married couple struggle with the decision to let each other go after an accident, Cristina goes to Owen and confesses that he’s the love of her life, and staying apart is stupid. Life changes so quickly, and they should be together. From the steamy kiss that follows, we’re guessing Owen agrees.

And it goes well… until Owen wants to move to Germany to head up the military’s trauma division with Teddy. What would happen to Cristina if she abandons her research project and decides to follow Owen abroad instead? Her future imagined begins here, and it includes:

  • Cristina’s pregnancy, and the birth of her son with Owen. Considering the fact that we — let alone Cristina — never imagined her with a baby, it was seriously trippy to see her procreate. And if we’re being honest, although she obviously dedicates herself to motherhood, she doesn’t look like she’s having much fun.

  • Fast forward to the future: We’re celebrating Bailey’s seventh birthday, and Cristina is pregnant with Baby number 2. And still doesn’t look too crazy about it.

  • Later, in a super sparkly dress, she presents an award to a much older, more dignified looking Shane — the Harper Avery award. Thanks to being a mom, Shane had the opportunity to take over her research project. Instead of receiving the prestigious award, Cristina cries in the bathroom, and our hearts are breaking for her.

But wait — we’re back in present day, before Cristina ever tells Owen how she feels. And the married couple from the beginning of the episode has decided to go another way. Instead of choosing to have his vent removed, the husband decides to keep it in and stay alive, and instead, Cristina chooses to celebrate the decision with a little romp in the on-call room with Owen instead of getting emotional and telling him she’s still in love with him.

Now, we’re imagining another future for Cristina. This time:

  • She and Owen are on again, off again… and it doesn’t appear to be working for either of them.

  • Dr. Bailey has her own Dr. Oz-ish talk show. Um, amazing much?

  • Meredith’s adopted again, and she is one exhausted mom. Meanwhile, Cristina’s getting tired of the back and forth of continuing to break up with Owen only to get back together with him again. So why does she keep doing it to herself? She enlists Meredith to help her stop going back to him.

  • Owen tries to start a shift completely wasted. The cause of his drinking binge? He can’t live without Cristina. Being without her drives him to drink, because he can’t handle seeing her at work every day.

  • Next, we see a slightly grey-haired Cristina, yet again in a sparkly dress — she’s waiting on Owen to show up, and he’s busy working (and obviously late).

  • Wait, wait, wait — she’s not waiting for Owen to show up, she’s waiting for Shane! Just as Shane presents her with the Harper Avery award, back at the hospital, Owen’s on the verge of losing his job for being reckless with patients as a result of how Cristina leaving him has affected his work ethic.

But back in the present, Cristina’s asking the patient one more time if he wants her to remove the vent or not… and this time, he says yes.

So what does Cristina decide? Instead of approaching Owen at the elevators, she just lets him go.