Credit: Richard Cartwright/ABC Family Channel © 2012 Disney ABC Television Group Photo: Derek, Meredith, and Lexie on Grey's Anatomy Season 8, Episode 14

Okay, after last week's frivolous foray into the hypothetical, Grey's Anatomy is back to un-alternate reality. And if you saw any of the previews, you probably thought the major drama this week would be the pink minivan crashing through Seattle Grace's ambulance bay doors and nearly taking out Cristina (Sandra Oh). But no, it turns out to be not such a big deal. Owen (Kevin McKidd) pushes Cristina out of the way (in spite of himself), and no one is injured. Well, the florist who was driving is injured, but Teddy (Kim Raver) fixes him up real good and makes him all shiny and new.

Aside from lifesaving maneuvers, Cristina and Owen are barely interacting. In fact, the first time they acknowledge each other, Owen deploys a bombshell: he tells her that he's moving out. Like the man-baby he is, he immediately goes to Teddy for support, but she offers no crying shoulder. In fact, she tells him that she hates him. As in, despises him. Like, abhors him as much as we ahbor ghost-sex plotlines. She even wishes death upon him. Now that's cold.

One of the patients-of-the-week is a man who got in a car accident with his girlfriend because he was trying to catch up with her after she drove off in a huff after he gave her another necklace instead of an engagement ring after eight years. (Phew! That was a mouthful.) She ends up realizing that her anger is petty, but he dies before they're able to kiss and make up. What's even sadder is that Lexie (Chyler Leigh) realizes the necklace was a locket with the the phrase "Will you marry me?" inside. The cruel hand of irony issues a major smackdown, my friends.

Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and Bailey (Chandra Wilson) deduce that a woman with blinding headaches and seizures has a gnarly tumor called a teratoma, but the tumor they find on her lungs turns out to be a benign one. After removing both of the woman's ovaries, they finally find and excise the teratoma. Alas, the young couple can no longer have children.

Credit: Richard Cartwright/ABC Family Channel © 2012 Disney ABC Television Group Photo: Callie and Arizona on Grey's Anatomy Season 8, Episode 14

Meanwhile, a little boy accidently sets off his schoolyard crush's peanut allergy and sends her into anaphylactic shock. Alex (Justin Chambers) saves her, but the boy's mom makes him leave before the girl wakes up, so Alex volunteers to read the boy's love letter to her, and the whole scene is awfully cute.

Callie's (Sara Ramirez) Valentine's destination with Arizona (Jessica Capshaw) turns out to be Derek's (Patrick Dempsey) old trailer, but the real surprise is that she decked it out with silk and pillows like a Moroccan brothel, oops, love nest. It even has lingerie on the bed. Hey-o!

Mark (Eric Dane) and Lexie are stuck babysitting Sofia and Zola, which means Mark has to cancel his date with Julia and Lexie has to cancel, well, nothing. Lexie decides to confess her feelings for Mark (for the 17th time), but when she goes over to talk to him, she finds him having a man-date with Jackson (Jesse Williams), who wooed Mark with food and wine so that Mark could help him study.

Bailey's surgical cases keep her working late, putting her and Ben's dinner reservation in jeopardy. Finally, Richard (James Pickens Jr.) offers to take over her caseload so that she could be free to wine and dine. She tries to object since it's Richard's anniversary with Adele, but he tells her that Adele didn't even recognize him. (Awwww.) And Ben, being the super-”romancey” guy he is, brings the dinner to her, and Seattle Grace is actually kinda romantic by candelight.

In the end, Cristina finds Owen on the steam vent and begs him not to hate her. And after a soulful gaze, they embrace. Well, heck, it's a Valentine's Day Miracle. And you know what else is miraculous? This episode...it was good! Shonda, keep an eye on your mail; we're sending you a box of chocolates.

Catch an all-new Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday, February 16 at 9pm ET/PT on ABC.

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