For those Grey's Anatomy fans keeping score, the official count is Meredith (Ellen Pompeo): 1, Hostile Uterus: 0. OK, technically it’s 1-1, but Meredith has Zola now, which brings the actual official count to Meredith: 2, Hostile Uterus: 1. Basically, we’re just choosing a very complicated way of saying that Mer is pregnant! Everyone can finally relax knowing that McDreamy’s hair genes will live on.
But that’s not the only good news for the Seattle Grace-Mercy Westers in Season 9, Episode 7: "I Was Made for Lovin’ You." It turns out that Richard (James Pickens Jr.) is as wise as ever, Alex (Justin Chambers) is surprisingly less douchey as of late, Callie (Sara Ramirez) and Arizona (Jessica Capshaw) are back in the world of rainbows and smiles, and the interns might not be as dumb as we expected. Sure, it might take a special case and a very loving couple to bring out the intelligence behind the interns (and our tears), but even Cristina admits that they’re not completely useless. And if Cristina approves, we approve.
Arizona spends the entire episode back at work and back on her feet, er, foot. As she points out, she has no left foot. That fact leads Callie, Alex and the entire hospital staff to walk on eggshells, and we’re talking the most fragile eggshells imaginable. Alex is paying off children not to mention the leg, and Callie has an intern hiding around every corner with a squeaky wheelchair just in case Arizona gets tired. However, none of it is necessary. Perky Arizona is back, y’all! Despite being on her feet all day and falling in the OR, Arizona still manages to laugh it all off. And then she goes home and plays with her adorable daughter. Life is good.
Well, life is good for Calzona … but not so much for Jackson (Jesse Williams) and April (Sarah Drew). Thanks to the fact that April’s body “is a clock,” she quickly realizes that something is wrong when her period is four days late. And so she and Jackson spend the entire episode trying to find time to take a pregnancy test, taking it, waiting for the results and coming to conclusions about the meaning of life and plans. You know, chit chat. And the chit chat worked (or it was April’s awesome hair), because Jackson decides that he wants in. He wants all in. We’re talking a wedding with butterflies, a house with a yard and kids. And April seems pretty happy with that plan. That is, until she finds out that she isn’t pregnant and makes the mistake of showing her tremendous relief about the whole now-we-don’t-have-to-get-married thing. Yea, he breaks up with her, which bring the scoreboard to Jesus: 1, Jackson: 1 (you know, for the lack of abstinence).
Continuing with the trend of having a bad day, Owen (Kevin McKidd) spends his time doing one of two things: talking to the board about the plane crash lawsuit and/or rejecting Cristina. Let’s start with the more simple matter: Apparently, the company that owned the plane had a bad record with malfunctioning equipment, but Owen didn’t do his research before signing the paper that approved the company back during the chaos of budget cuts. Therefore, Owen is at fault. But the board is behind him 100 percent. And despite Richard’s best Shakespearean quote, Owen can’t shake the feeling that something is up.
And he’s right. It turns out that the board thinks the case will be dropped completely due to the fact that Owen is married to Cristina, a victim of the crash. So as the warm weather and Owen’s commanding speech-giving ability slowly melt Cristina’s icy heart and allow her to realize that she has changed (hello, she’s teaching interns and caring about people), she decides that she wants Owen back. But he already signed a confidentiality agreement, which means he can’t tell her about the sleazy, sneaky board. And so he asks for a divorce in order to save her lawsuit … but she has no idea. Our. Hearts. Break.
When Callie isn’t busy worrying about her wife, she’s enlisting the help of Jackson to try to create a surgery plan (and accompanying powerpoint) impressive enough to get Derek (Patrick Dempsey) to agree to fix his hand, when it turns out that all he needs is for a man with a tumor to grab his wife’s ass. OK, so he doesn’t need the harassment, but the tumor has him hooked. He’s the top neurosurgeon. He’s the one who could fix McGrabby … but only if his hand worked. And so Derek agrees to help Callie come up with a plan for his own surgery. After all, McDreamy’s the best around … in more ways than one.
Other things we learned: The only thing worse than people dying is really nice people being OK with dying, Ben is all about wedding planning, Bailey (Chandra Wilson) doesn’t want Santa at her wedding, and Derek bought Zola her first pink fishing pole. Also, Jackson’s a slow reader, intern Shane has a sensitive side, and Alex is totally crushing on Jo ... while at Joe’s.
So it’s a Christmas wedding for Bailey, a break-up for April and Jackson, a baby for Mer and Der, a divorce for Cristina (Sandra Oh) and Owen, a dance party for Callie and Arizona and the beginnings of a crush for Alex. Drama, drama, drama.
Next week, it’s all about the interns. How many dwarf nicknames do you think they can fit into one episode?
Catch the next new episode of Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday, December 6 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.
Samantha Highfill is a contributing writer to Wetpaint Entertainment. Follow her on Twitter at @samhighfill.
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