It’s Christmas time on Grey's Anatomy! And the only thing more magical (and unpredictable) than Christmas time at Seattle Grace-Mercy West is matrimony time at Seattle Grace-Mercy West. Or, as some call it, a wedding. Yep, the decorated tree and all the garland have nothing on a nervous Bailey (Chandra Wilson) in a poofy white dress.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Before Bailey can get in the dress, she has to make sure things are taken care of at the hospital. And so, in preparation for the (second) biggest day of her life (but really the honeymoon), Bailey leaves her patients to April (Sarah Drew) and gives her a teeny tiny glimpse into what it was like to be one of the Nazi’s interns back in the day…

But April isn’t the only piece of the Bailey wedding puzzle. While she brushes up on all of Bailey’s patient’s charts, Callie (Sara Ramirez), Arizona (Jessica Capshaw) and Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) agree to be bridesmaids. Well, in Bailey’s words, they agree to show up to the wedding and not sit down.

So with the three of them standing at the front of the church with Bailey, what will everyone else be doing? Here’s an idea: Why don’t all the single people bring interns as dates? After all, that’s so Season 2. And apparently, April is a big fan of Season 2 (who isn’t?). As soon as Bailey is done making April feel like an idiotic intern, Jackson’s (Jesse Williams) ex-lover comes up with the brilliant idea that he should take intern Stephanie (Jerrika Hinton) to the nuptials. In April’s eyes, Bailey’s wedding is nothing but a sex trap. Plus, she’s wearing a strapless dress, and how is Jackson supposed to resist her naked décolletage? Hint: He’s not.

But if Jackson is paired with Stephanie, what lucky intern is left for April? Well, there’s only one male in the bunch … and according to Jackson, he’s a good-looking piece of man (Did you see him shirtless?!). So Shane (Gaius Charles) it is.

However, the big day (and all the anxiety that comes with it) is still hours away, so let’s focus on what some of our favorite already-married couples are doing. Meredith and Derek (Patrick Dempsey) take a quick break from hand surgery talk to get an ultrasound. It seems that Mer’s uterus has gone from hostile to unstable. Hey, it’s progress. We’ll take it. And so will they. But what they won’t do is smile during the ultrasound. 

And another thing Mer won’t do is tell anyone about the pregnancy … including Cristina (Sandra Oh). Instead, she occupies herself with all things related to Derek’s surgery. She argues with Derek about Lizzie’s (Neve Campbell) involvement, then she argues with Lizzie about the meaning of family (not Mer’s best subject), and then finally, she gives in. After Callie successfully performs Derek’s surgery (yay!), Meredith embraces Derek’s truckload of sisters by showing Lizzie her ultrasound. Isn’t sisterhood grand?

Moving to another of our favorite married couples, Cristina and Owen (Kevin McKidd) spend their day being amicable to each other, until Meredith figures out the reason behind the divorce (aka the lawsuit). She then tells Cristina, who confronts Owen and all of his heartbreaking guilt. All it takes is Cristina confessing that she wants to try again, and Owen has her pinned against the door in one of his signature passionate kisses. And all is right with the world.

Next up, we have our final married couple: Callie and Arizona. After Callie agrees to be a bridesmaid, stupidly jokes with Bailey about running away from the altar, and then fixes Derek’s hand (hopefully), she puts an end to Arizona’s leg drama. Enough is enough. Yes, it sucks that Arizona can’t wear heels to the wedding. But she is still the same person, and Callie is sick of hearing about the leg. Needless to say, the two get dressed and head to the wedding. What we learned: Never make Callie go months without sex unless you want to get an earful. 

Moving on to the maybe-one-day couple, we have Jo (Camilla Luddington) and Alex (Justin Chambers). We’ll make this brief: Jo messes up in surgery and teaches Alex a valuable lesson about, well, teaching, and then she’s accidentally set up as Alex’s date to the wedding. Thanks, Stephanie. 

Now that everyone has a date, it’s all about getting Bailey to the church on time. And after a not-so-peppy-but-perfectly-realistic speech from Richard (James Pickens Jr.), a last-minute surgery, and a very dapper Richard showing up in a limo to pick her up on the big day, Bailey finally seems ready to go. That is until Richard gets a call in the car that Adele (Loretta Devine) just came into the ER coughing up blood. 

And so Bailey puts her work husband before her soon-to-be husband, hastily removes her wedding dress and gets to work on Adele. And the big poofy white dress is left behind. We’re having major Season 3 finale deja vu. 

Other things we learned: Meredith and Derek’s dream house bed is enormous, interns and eyelash curlers don’t mix, and man oh man can Richard wear a tux or what?! Side note: We’re pretty sure the entire wedding plot point was just an excuse to remind us how hot these docs are outside of their scrubs, but we do not mind. At. All.

So if you can wrap your head around everything that did and did not happen (as well as Shane’s abs), we will see you in January with some potential Calzona sex, a Ben (Jason George) confrontation and, wait, is Jackson sleeping with Stephanie?!

The only thing more dramatic than a Grey’s wedding is what happens next, or as we like to call it, the aftershock. We suggest you take cover. 

Catch the next new episode of Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday, January 10 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.

Samantha Highfill is a contributing writer to Wetpaint Entertainment. Follow her on Twitter at @samhighfill.

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