Finally — some of our Jersey Shore playahs are making moves. It was an oddly quiet week for a couple typically outspoken guidettes, and one infamously annoying couple was almost entirely invisible. This made room for a few middle-of-the-pack dudes to edge their way to the top. Exciting stuff. Enjoy your GTL Power Rankings for Episode 2.8.
Snooki: Tan Ranking: 4 (out of 8) Last Week: 2 It pains us to drop Snookers this far down on our list, but rules are rules — and even the World’s Greatest Guidette is subject to them. The most memorable moment for Snooki was, unfortunately, getting smacked in the face with a beach ball, care of Angelina. Snooks stood her ground, though, and made sure everyone knew that she was not going to be messed with. Still, this just wasn’t her week.
The Situation: Gym Ranking: 3 (out of 8) Last Week: 1 The Sitch was busy this week. From informing Jose about Angelina’s infidelity to stealing a blond girl from Vinny to organizing a 6 AM smush sesh, he ensured “Gym” status for the week. He definitely lost some points, though, when his weird behavior pretty much c***blocked his boy Pauly from gettin’ it in. Oh, and remember Vinny’s Uncle Nino? We’re pretty much certain that’s going to be The Situation in about 30 years.
Ronnie: Laundry Ranking: 8 (out of 8) Last Week: 8 No movement for Ronnie because he literally did nothing this week. When the focus isn’t on his f’ed up relationship with Sam, Ronnie is nothing more than the guy who hangs around the house and gives the other guys high fives. The eight spot on the list might soon be known as “The Ron Spot.” Dude has to do something interesting to get him out of bottom position. And no, that doesn’t include messing behind Sam’s back. Again.
Vinny: Gym Ranking: 2 (out of 8) Last Week: 4 Okay, so, most of Vinny’s points this week are sympathy points. Getting rejected over the phone, then un-rejected, then stood up in one night is just too rough to ignore. There were some happy times for Vin, though: Having his mother come down to visit was a great moment (as was all of her delicious food), and his Uncle Nino was a blast. Of course, how could we forget that whole Angelina hookup? Well, we wish we could...
Sammi: Laundry Ranking: 7 (out of 8) Last Week: 6 Sammi is pretty much in the same boat as her man Ronnie: They just weren’t featured in the latest episode. We were hoping to see a little more fallout from her big fight with JWOWW, but MTV didn’t even touch on it. After last week we were optimistic that Sammi would finally crack the top half, but with a showing like this, she’ll be lucky if she gets back to the sixth spot.
Angelina: Laundry Ranking: 6 (out of 8) Last Week: 7 Thanks to Sammi’s inactivity, Ange moves up a spot by default. Otherwise, we’d have to rank this girl at the very bottom for her behavior. Hooking up with Vinny is one thing, but then lying to Jose, a guy who’s been treating her as if she’s actually Kim Kardashian, is pretty messed up. Not to mention her throwing that ball in Snooki’s face. Snooks has vowed revenge, and we can’t wait to see what she cooks up.
DJ Pauly D: Gym Ranking: 1 (out of 8) Last Week: 4 A surprise new #1 completes the M.V.P. sweep of the top three. But let’s be real, here — no one deserves at least one week on the top more than Pauly. The guy’s been a model bro, he comes up with about two-thirds of all guido slang and, ya know what? He showed that Cuban girl a really nice dinner. Okay, maybe this was a bit of an emotional pick for us (in case you couldn’t tell, we like Pauly), but with no one else worthy of the top spot this week, who would you rather have?
JWOWW: Tan Ranking: 5 (out of 8) Last Week: 3 Much like with Sammi, we were hoping to see a little more post-fight drama. Maybe next week. Otherwise, all Jenni really did was hang out with Vinny’s Uncle Nino in the hot tub. Although she probably made the man’s year after cozying up to him in one of her many barely there bikinis, she didn’t make the top half of our list. She had a good run at the three spot, but if she wants to get back there, well, she’s going to have to do something about it. We’re guessing that’s not going to be much of a problem for her.