Grumpy New Jersey native and no-nonsense detective, Danno always has a snarky comeback for his partner Steve McGarret. Here are Danny "Danno" Williams’ best quotes from Hawaii Five-0.
10. Season 1, Episode 17: “Powa Maka Moana”
Danny “Danno” Williams: I am stretching because my back hurts. You know why my back hurts?
Steve McGarrett: No. Why does your back hurt?
Danny “Danno” Williams: Because I spent the morning pushing a car down the highway.
Steve McGarrett: Oh, where I come from that's called good exercise.
Danny “Danno” Williams: Oh really? Where's that, Krypton? Where I come from it's called a worker’s comp settlement.
9. Season 1, Episode 16: “E Malama”
Danny “Danno” Williams: You know what the greatest invention of all time is?
Chin Ho Kelly: What?
Danny “Danno” Williams: The ignore button. I have a theory that whoever invented the modern cellular phone also had an ex-wife.
8. Season 1, Episode 12: “Hana 'a'a Makehewa”
Danny “Danno” Williams: Can I ask you a question? Why are you always driving my car?
Steve McGarrett: I like to drive.
Danny “Danno” Williams: No. Rainman liked to drive. You have control issues.
7. Season 1, Episode 11: “Palekaiko”
Steve McGarrett: Take that tie off. No one on a cruise ship wears a tie.
Danny “Danno” Williams: Oh yes, they do. They do all the time, so they can hang themselves when they're bored.
Steve McGarrett: Okay, put it in your pocket. You can kill yourself later.
6. Season 1, Episode 9: “Po'ipu”
Steve McGarrett: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around food?
Danny “Danno” Williams: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around armed conflict?
5. Season 1, Episode 7: “Ho'apono”
Danny “Danno” Williams: Okay... Let's say I am you, and you are the bad guy here. I would know that all the ways onto the ship are visible somehow. So, how would you outsmart yourself and get yourself onto that ship without yourself seeing yourself?
Steve McGarrett: okay, was that an actual question, or were you just throwing words together and hoping they made sense?
4. Season 1, Episode 5: “Nalowale”
Steve McGarrett: You don't think I am a happy person?
Danny “Danno” Williams: I am sure you have your moments, like when Guns and Ammo puts out its gift guide, or a Rambo retrospective comes on TV.
3. Season 1, Episode 4: “Lanakila”
Danny “Danno” Williams: First you have to seek to understand before you can be enlightened.
Steve McGarrett: I will literally pay you cash to stop talking.
2. Season 1, Episode 2: “Ohana”
Steve McGarrett: That guy was only going to talk under fear of death?
Danny “Danno” Williams: Fear of death? People will tell you anything under fear of death. That doesn't make it true!
1. Season 1, Episode 3: “Malama Ka Aina”
Danny “Danno” Williams: Okay. All right. What's that look?
Steve McGarrett: What look?
Danny “Danno” Williams: The look. The look you give me when you don't tell me what you're thinking and the next think I know I'm getting shot at.