Hellcats

Tonight's episode started off with a little scantily-clad cheer practice for a change. The Hellcats are prepping for their big number at Nationals and they have a secret weapon: an exclusive, never-heard-before song. Hopefully, no one else gets their hands on this catchy tune... dun dun dunn.

In other news, guess who's just been accepted to Lancer U? We'll give you one guess: He's the only major character who's currently not a student. Yep, Dan. Even better, he wants Savannah to be the first to know. Aww.

Later, Marti walks in on Travis strumming a tune, which turns out to be something her Dad Rex had written back in the day. Marti's like, what? Travis reveals that him and Wanda were up late, drinking wine, and she ended up sharing some info with him about Marti's father. Naturally, Marti is way pissed since she's gotten, like, zero info herself. So, wait a minute... Travis and Wanda were drinking wine together? Saucy!

Across town, Alice and Savannah drop by the Monroe estate to pick up some old textbooks for Dan, and they are outraged to find the Mem-Chris squad rehearsing to — wait for it — the same song the Hellcats are using! A catfight ensues that comes to a screeching halt when Nasty Kathy reveals that the only reason they are down a flyer is because Charlotte got pregnant by Savannah's ex... oh snap! Turns out Char harbored a crush on her big sister's boyfriend for, like, ever. When Savannah broke his heart for the last time, he took some comfort in Charlotte, knocked her up, and now they are getting married! Mama Monroe thinks it's for the best and so does Charlotte... at least, she claims to think that.

In other news, apparently, Vanessa and Red are already a couple... that was fast! Well, to be fair, she does seem pretty uncomfortable when Red tries a little PDA on her at The Rat, and so she takes off. Ever hear of giving someone space, Red? Dang. Later in her office, though, Red shows up with baked goods and the couple reminisce about their past when they used to run around hotel lobbies butt naked. Um, not very discreet for two people who were having an affair. Anyway, they agree that neither of them felt a "cosmic pull" to either Emily or Derrick. They then proceed to engage in a little cosmic action on the couch, if you know what we mean. Oh yeah!

Back at Wanda's, Marti confronts her mother for details about her pops. Wanda refuses to spill, though, causing a big mother-daughter fight. What's the deal? Later, over pizza, Dan and Marti have a heart-to-heart about the whole situation, and Dan wonders why she didn't push further for more details. Turns out the last time Marti pressed her mother for info on her father, Wanda ended up drinking herself into a week-long stupor of bed rest. Mostly, Marti's just really hurt that her Mom was able to confide in Travis after only knowing him a few weeks. Reasonable.

In an unexpected love connection, Lewis hits on Nasty Kathy at the bar where the infamous band who wrote the song is playing. Didn't see that coming! They're totally hitting it off, too, until Kathy realizes that Lewis is a Hellcat. Alice shows up and the ladies confront the band, who suggest the squads fight it out for the song via a sexy competition. Of course, how else would you settle such a dilemma?

Back to the baby daddy drama, Savannah and Noah go out to dinner to discuss the sticky situation. Noah confesses that he's still in love with Savannah. Um, not good. When she lets him know it's never going to happen, Noah even asks her to make the decision for him as to whether or not to marry Charlotte. At that point, Savannah's like "Peace out, loser," and rightfully so. Savannah then tries to tell her sister the truth about Noah, but Char totally flips out and won't hear any of it. Luckily, Charlotte ends the engagement, and even Mama Monroe is on board with her decision.

Besides, Savannah and Charlotte need to focus on what's important here: snagging that song for Nationals! The two squads compete in an epic cheer-off, which the lame band totally misses. They pick the Hellcats since their uniforms are sexier. In the end, both teams tell them to shove their song where the sun don't shine. Nice! Also, Nasty Kathy gives Lewis her digits. Rowrrr.

Closing out the episode, Marti finds a suitcase full of her father's stuff and she tearfully starts putting the pieces together of who her father once was.