Bachelorette 2014 Hometown Dates Hot Mess of the Week: Day Stripper Marcus Grodd
Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group © 2014 Disney    

The Bachelorette

Bachelorette 2014 Hometown Dates Hot Mess of the Week: Day Stripper Marcus Grodd

Now that we've regained our vision/ability to keep down food after watching Marcus Grodd perform yet another striptease, we can finally talk about the hot mess that was his Bachelorette hometown date. First of all, said date took place in The Lonestar State, which means Marcus could have taken Andi Dorfman bull riding, cowboy boot shopping, or to a local salon for a weave (because the higher the hair, the closer to God). Instead, Marcus led Andi to an abandoned club where she presumably thought she'd be murdered, and performed a private dance for her.

It's hard for us to talk about what happened next because we immediately started dry-heaving into a paper bag, but from what we gathered, Marcus threw either a thong or a glove at Andi's face (both are horrifying), postured his butt at her like some kind of baboon in heat, and then forced her to makeout with him on a creepy plastic-covered couch.

Immediately after this traumatizing event (which likely gave Andi PTSD), Marcus took his gal pal out for some casual gelato as though they hadn't just engaged in the most horrible mating ritual ever. At this point, poor Andi had to listen to him drop the L-word, and everything continued to go downhill from there.

While we appreciate the fact that Marcus tried his best to give Andi a great date, he probably should have chosen an activity that was slightly less NSFL. Like, pretty much anything other than stripping off all his clothes while Andi sat alone on the couch in the dark. But the real moment that cemented this dude's hot messiness was his breakdown on the limo ride home, in which he gently sobbed to himself and declared, "I shouldn’t have told her I love her."

True that, friend. True that….

Who do you think was this week's biggest Hot Mess? Let us know below!