Hong Kong Phooey! Recap of Bachelorette Season 7, Episode 6
Finally! We’ve all been waiting to get “closure” on the biggest issue of The Bachelorette Season 7 and now it’s here: JP stands for Jordan Paul.
And at this point it’s pretty darn obvious Jordan Paul Rosenbaum is a gazillion light years ahead of the other bachelors, who, by the way, should just start dating each other. JP doesn’t care that Ashley Hebert was so obsessed with Bentley Williams that ABC flew him to Hong Kong for a random chat about bug bites — all he cared about is that she was honest and had moved on, but he was the only one.
Episode 6 actually has a lot of nice moments — from Constantine Tzortzis and Ben Flajnik's adorable dragon boat failure (smoked like salmon!) and Ames Brown’s awkward elevator kiss to JP opening up about his heartbreak and Ashley comparing silly dog voices with Ben F.
However, there are plenty of not-so-nice moments: the guys continuing to hate on Ryan "Mr. Sunshine" Park for actually wanting to be there; Ashley telling Mickey McLean he should just leave, then getting upset when he does; Blake Julian departing in sadness with the hope that he can someday find a friend (perhaps on Bachelor Pad Season 2?); and Ashley continuing to say “Bentley” ten thousand times after insisting it’s over.
It’s never over. And if the previews are any indication, more tears and whining are coming in Taiwan and Fiji. Is it too late for the cameras to start following that couple that got engaged on the beach? Their story sounds like it has a happier ending.
Read on for a full recap of Episode 6:
In deliberation with The Rosemaster, Ashley cries (again) about not knowing what to do. She didn’t expect the guys to get so upset. Chris argues, sensibly, that the guys just heard that she was in love with Bentley, a guy she barely knew, while they stopped their lives to travel the world with her. Rosemaster, you rock.
At this point, Lucas, Ryan and JP already have roses and the rest of the guys continuing on the "journey" are:
1. Ben 2. Constantine (who said he was “done” earlier) 3. Ames
Going home: Blake. It’s a bad day for dentists. There has to be a “pulling teeth” joke in there somewhere.
COMING UP THIS SEASON
They are going to “the hidden jewel of Asia,” Taiwan. We see a finale preview where she talks about not wanting to live without a certain guy. It has to be JP. She also regrets getting rid of someone, who flies back to Fiji. We think that’s this guy. “Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this,” Ashley says, crying. That’s been our point from day one, sweetie! But if you marry JP it’s all forgiven. But if he walks out on her … he should be the next Bachelor. But she’s said she’s engaged and there’s some kind of happy ending, so that heartbreak is probably just the equivalent of Jason Mesnick’s classic crying at the balcony.
Ashley calls him one of the most gorgeous guys she’s ever met. He’s loyal and he’s going to be a great family man. She calls him “the total package,” which is also what she called Ben last week.
Suddenly overcome by the urge to be honest, she goes into detail about Bentley, telling JP she saw Bentley there in Hong Kong two days ago. D’oh! She throws cold water on their first date, saying she was still thinking about Bentley during their sweet PJ time by the fire.
Poor JP. Such a wonderful Joseph Gordon-Levitt clone deserves better than this. But he's the perfect gentleman (again!) and thanks her for her honesty. He’s glad she has her closure. He wants her to stay honest and not be afraid to tell her things. They are getting the sweet guitar music the show reserves for *special moments*.
They kiss. But not enough. JP doesn’t care that Ash brought back Bentley. He cares that it’s over. Jordan Paul gets a rose. Too cute. He says they are on the right track and “things are perfect.” He’s crazy about her.
Is there any chance someone else could win at this point? It’s never been quite so obvious before, and that’s what makes us think there has to be another card up the show’s sleeve. It’s only Week 6.
Date card: Lucas, “Let’s find our good fortune on the streets of Hong Kong”
Poor Mr. Sunshine, Ryan Park, still hasn’t gotten a 1-on-1 date. Why? He was the first impression rose winner. That’s weird.
Lucas is “Big Tex.” They hang out downtown and then enjoy the skyline on a boat. Lucas calls her “refreshed” as if she’s just had work done. He calls his divorce the toughest thing he’s ever been through. His wife was the love of his life and their marriage was wonderful, at first. Things started going sour and he didn’t know why at the time. He eventually realized she was not the woman for him.
It looks cold on that boat. The whole date seems to be on fast-forward, since there’s so much to get to, so blah blah blah he gets a rose. They even rush through their first kiss. However, “Lucas makes me feel like a woman,” Ashley says. She likes his protectiveness. It’s one of the most romantic nights of her life. Really, Ash? Really?
Since JP had no problem with the Bentley “closure,” Ashley decides to tell the other guys. Bad idea! Maybe it would’ve been better if she talked to them individually, as she did for JP. Lumping them all together makes them feel even less special than the news itself does.
Constantine calls Ash out on the hypocrisy. They talked about being totally open on their date and she wasn’t open with him about her feelings for Bentley. Lucas wants to know why she didn’t say anything earlier … like on his own date, maybe. The guys are ticked. Blake thinks the Bentley meeting must’ve gone poorly if he flew all the way out there and then just left again.
The meeting is awkward and at one point Ashley just gets up and leaves. JP calls her “selfless and honest,” which proves he should marry her. “Honest”? Sure. “Selfless”? Nice try.
Ryan P. still wants to be there. In fact, he uses this as an opportunity to get further into her good graces. He gets the “closure” thing. Poor Ames got a concussion to fight for her, but he doesn’t seem to care about Bentley. Fairy tales aren’t simple. He knows that.
On the other hand, "Big Tex" Lucas says Ashley is wasting his f--king time. Blake is mad. Fellow dentist leans on a railing while talking to Ashley and gets passive-aggressive until she starts crying. He hugs her in the coldest manner. Yeah his ego's bruised but does he have to be such a jerk about it?
Mickey feels like Ashley lied to them. He has serious questions and he’s not even sure why he’s there. So his “please send me home” speech turns into him walking out after Ashley pretty much dares him to. The other men say a toast to Mickey as he sails away. They respect his decision. Farewell, Cosmo’s Hottest Bachelor.
Ashley cries when telling the guys that sometimes she says things the wrong way and she’s sorry if they feel defeated, but she does care about them and she never wanted to hurt them.
BENTLEY IS BACK
As Ashley’s voice-over prattles on about her Bentley obsession (again), we see her wandering the gorgeous streets of Hong Kong — wearing the absolute tightest jeans ever. Did she paint those suckers on?
Ashley and Chris Harrison sit down in her hotel room and he drops the B-bomb. Bentley is there in the hotel, waiting to talk to her. “Shut up!” (Our thoughts exactly.) Then we have to watch her just sit and stare at the card with his hotel room number on it. If this were any more dragged out it would be RuPaul.
But yuck. As soon as he opens up that door, they kiss. Bentley seems to be in a good mood as they banter. It’s weird. She talks about her bug bites. He says he’s been working. She said she hasn’t had fun since he’s been gone — take THAT, other bachelors in waiting! Bentley puts his hand on her leg as she talks. Eww. Ashley feels like Bentley is in her life for a reason. (To show her the kind of guy to avoid?) Bentley remains vague, saying things like she knows where he’s at. But she doesn’t. He “implores” her to stay there and see what she can find with the other guys. He’s still being vague, so she goes off on him for giving her the “dot-dot-dot” thing. It’s a great speech. He finally gives her their “period.” Can it pleeeease be an exclamation point?
Oh, and Ashley wants to know why didn’t he just call instead of flying all the way out there. Uh, because ABC begged him to come out and they paid for a free trip. Period.
Now Ashley can’t believe she wasted so much time on him. (Get in line!) She says he disrespected her even though she didn’t do anything to him. He’s a player and a bad boy and he knows just what to say to girls to string them along. “Bentley, if you're watching this, f--ck you, I'm done with you.” It’s another great speech, but it feels kinda tacked on. Did she really tape that at the time or just recently in response to the show? That’s the kind of thing you say after you see all the footage he said behind the scenes.
Anyway … it’d be nice if that were truly the end of Bentley, but no. No, we’re not that lucky. Even gone, his spirit lives on in every other sentence out of Ashley’s mouth. “Closure” shmosure.
Date card: Ryan, Mickey, Constantine, Ben F., Ames, Blake, “Let’s get our hearts racing”
Blake is upset because neither he nor Ryan has had a 1-on-1 date. He doesn’t want to be lumped into the same group as Ryan P. Because he’s too darn happy. Are we still stuck on that?
JP gets another 1-on-1 date, which really targets him as the frontrunner.
But first: dragon boat racing! Wonder twins Ben and Constantine are a team. Blake and Ryan (his nemesis) are a team. And Mickey and Ames are also a team. The guys are dispatched to try and find random strangers to join them on their teams. And the strangers don’t speak English.
Random question: What does this have to do with Ashley, never mind falling in love? It’s just the guys spending more time with each other. She’s not even out there recruiting with the guys.
Having said that, if Team Red Dragon hotties Ben and Constantine ever try to recruit us for anything, they won’t even have to finish the question. We’re ready to follow them everywhere for the rest of the season.
In the end, Ames and Mickey win and, unrelated, a random couple gets engaged on the beach. Coincidence? We thinks NOT.
That night, Ashley is literally on the prowl in her jungle-print dress. Mickey thinks she looks hot. Ames uses this opportunity to trap her in an elevator and suck on her face. They are randomly interrupted on the way up, to which Ashley remarks “Oh, shoots.” Ames says he’s totally falling for Ashley. Could that be the concussion talking? They head up to the roof for a nice view.
Somehow, Ben F. found himself a cheesy yellow sweater. She kisses him anyway. Ben tells the camera he’s on the path to love and his feelings for Ashley are stronger than they’ve ever been. He calls himself “the biggest skeptic of all,” which is doubtful since we’ve met Bentley. Is he another guy who just came on the show to drink, plug his wine and have a good time? Or … to bond with Constantine, his long-lost brotha from anotha motha?
The guys then go back to their favorite pastime — dissing Ryan. Ben wants Ashley to see the real Ryan. But all we hear is that the real Ryan is just exuberant and happy. Is that really the worst anyone can say about him.
Blake: “The prevailing winds are saying that Ryan shouldn’t be here. We just have fundamental differences. If Ryan gets the rose tonight, I would be livid. I would probably just pack up and go home.” BUT WHY? Is he secretly gay or something?
Mr. Sunshine gets the rose. Ben is bummed about Ashley’s decision. She hasn’t experienced the Ryan they all know and “can’t stand.” She let him down. He can now join everyone else watching this season.