Credit: Bravo

You thought the fight for the Iron Throne was vicious? Well, just want until you meet the ladies of Bravo’s Game of Crowns. Trust us: there’s nothing more terrifying than a group of (adult) women climbing the Mrs. pageantry ranks and fighting for the crown. There’s backstabbing, drama, and butt glue. And just wait until the fake nails — and blood?! — go flying. Yes, Game of Crowns will be your new favorite reality TV obsession, and here's why. 

1. It’s Real Housewives meets Toddlers & Tiaras. First things first: if you’re looking for high-brow, character-driven drama, you might want to tune into The Leftovers on HBO. Game of Crowns is total crack and perfect for summer. Sure, the Mrs. competitors are little shallow and completely out of touch, but the drama is entertaining.

2. The ladies. First there’s prim and proper Mrs. America Shelley Carbone, 41. She won Mrs. Connecticut America 2010, and Mrs. America 2011, and she’s definitely the most conservative (and stuck up?) Mrs competitor. Vanassa Sebastian is Mrs. Connecticut 2012 and described as looking like a “hoochie mama” by Shelley, aka her best friend. Then there’s Leha Guilmette, 34, who lost 70 pounds and won Mrs. Rhode Island in 2013, and Lynne Diamante, a former Miss Rhode Island USA and Miss USA 1991 contestant. (Note: she’s described as a “washed-up beauty queen” by pot-stirrer Vanassa.) Lori-Ann Marchese, 29, is Mrs. Connecticut 2013 and a former fitness model. And finally, we have pageant newcomer Susanna Paliotta, 40, the Mrs. Tri-State 2013 winner who believes “no pageant is too little for me!” See where we’re going with this?


3. The drama is real-ish. Rule no. 1 of Mrs. pageants: never wear the same jumpsuit as your frenemy. When Susanna realizes she’s wearing the same jumpsuit as Vanassa (on the plane) — gasp! — things get dra-ma-tic. And instead of wearing a different travel outfit, Susanna has the nerve to wear the jumpsuit anyway. Way to be a horrible friend, Susanna. Shame on you! But fashion faux pas aren’t the only drama Game of Crowns offers. As per usual, friendships are tested, death threats are made, and the double-sided tape will hit the fans.

4. It’s quotable. Thanks to Vanassa, Game of Crowns serves up some memorable LOL-worthy one-liners. From “washed up beauty queen” digs to “passing gas for a living,” this beauty queen is clearly going to be at the center of all the drama this season.

5. It’s all about the cuchinis. Game of Crowns isn’t completely vapid. In fact, you might even learn a new word or two — like cuchini. What is a cuchini, you ask? You’re just going to have to look it up because my explanation wouldn’t do it justice.

Catch the next episode of Game of Crowns on July 20 at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.

Crystal Bell is an editor at Wetpaint Entertainment and our resident fangirl and pop culture enthusiast. Follow her on Twitter and Google+!