First comes love, next comes marriage, then the babies…but what happens when all of that stuff starts trumping your love life with your husband? Kids are amazing, but they are also exhausting — it’s a fact. But just because you feel like the romantic spark has left your relationship doesn’t mean you can’t rekindle the flame.
World-renowned sex and relationship expert (who just happens to host In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman on OWN) Dr. Laura Berman knows all about putting the oomph back into marriage after kids. We rounded up her best tips onEveryday Health to help you and your partner feel a lot less like roommates and a lot more like lovers.
Be more direct. If you don’t communicate, how can you expect your partner to know what you’re thinking? If you’re feeling a little disconnected, tell him and give him a solution, like asking him to plan a date night for just the two of you. Or better yet, plan it yourself!
Do little things for each other. Grand gestures are lovely, but flying off for a romantic week in Paris isn’t very realistic for most parents. Instead, show each other how much you care by doing little things like bringing him his coffee while he gets ready for work in the morning or pick up a favorite dessert to share after the kids go to bed — because it’s the little things that count when it comes to sustaining a loving relationship.
Change up your routine. We’re not talking about your daily schedule — we’re talking about changing it up in the bedroom — wink, wink. If your sex life has become ho-hum or non-existent, it’s time to switch things up. Try new positions and new techniques to help heat things up. If you’re not sure what to do, check out videos or books for helpful hints.
Get unplugged. These days, even when we do have a chance to connect with one another, someone inevitably ends up on an iPhone or tweeting the heck out of each and every experience. Make date night a tech-free zone so you can catch up and reconnect without any digital distractions.
Try a new activity together. Want to find the loving feeling again? Take up a new activity together — and if it’s a little risky, that’s even better! Learning a new language, exercising, or even skydiving can help ignite an endorphin rush that just might put you both in the mood for lust!