Throughout the past season of Jersey Shore, we've come to learn a great deal about Seaside Heights' newest addition, Deena Cortese. (Like, give the girl a few shots and she'll either fall on the floor, or take off her pants. Or both.) But for those die-hard Deena fans who simply want to know more, we've compiled 10 fun facts that every Jersey Shore aficionado ought to know.
1. She auditioned for Season 1 (and was rejected!)
Listen, we're glad that MTV originally cast Angelina and everything (we can never thank her enough for inspiring the phrase "dirty little hamster"), but what were they thinking when they passed over everyone's favorite blast in a glass? Deena's a welcomed addition to the show — and, truth be told, just might be our new favorite housemate (sorry, Snooks!)
2. She's an actual Jersey girl
Like her (blech) fellow housemate (blech), Sammi (sorry, we can't actually say her name without gagging), Deena's a born-and-bred Jersey girl; and together, the two ladies are the only cast members who are actually from the Garden State. Because, let's face it: Jersey Shore is a much snappier title than Skanky Tales of the Bridge and Tunnel Drunks.
3. She and Sammi are BFFs
Which...yikes. We think Deena's all shades of fun, but Sammi? The most miserable, useless member of the Jersey Shore house? Really? We guess there's no accounting for taste.
4. She's an only child
Stereotypically, only children are often described as aggressive, bossy, and maladjusted. And while we hate to pander to cheap stereotypes, Deena does kind of sound like an amped-up fog horn. And, well, she did kind of show The Situation her va-jj five minutes after meeting him. Way to tear down those only-child myths, Deena!
5. She knows her way around a Longhorn (That's what she said)
Yep, Deena was peddling plates of beef at her local Longhorn Steakhouse before joining the Jersey Shore cast — and, amazingly, returned to the gig after Season 3 wrapped up production. But don't worry: since the new season premiered, Deena's traded in New York strip steaks for a burgeoning career as America's favorite meatball.
6. Her parents own a flooring company
So if anyone knows what the softest, most forgiving type of flooring to drunkenly pass out face-first on is, it's Deena. Also, we'll let you make up your own jokes about "shag carpeting".
7. The meatballs met through Snooki's ex
Apparently the meatballs met when Snooki was dating a friend of Deena's (at least one good thing came out of that relationship, right?). And even though the pint-sized guidettes lived in different states, they cultivated their meatball friendship on the weekends, during booze-soaked binges all over the greater Tri-State area.
8. She's, well, been around the block
When asked about her wildest night ever, Deena said "The most guys I've hooked up with in one night is probably three." Which, woah! The word "probably" sort of implies "this is only a rough guess, there quite possibly were more.". Really, she should just start making notches in her bedpost, like they did in the olden days.
9. She's not into juiceheads
Now, Deena has gone on record and said that, unlike Snooki, she doesn't go for juiceheads or gorillas, but prefers a more svelte guido — which she aptly calls "lean cuisine." We call Deena's bluff! After all, that Ron look-alike she was cozying up to a few weeks back sure looked like a knuckle dragger to us.
10. Her favorite expression is tattooed down her side
And, sadly, it's "Live, Love, Laugh" — and not our other favorite pearl of Deena wisdom, "Face down, ass up...that's the way I like to have a good time."
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