Credit: MTV Photo: The Situation Tries to Warn Jose That Angelina Is Playing Him, Season 2, Episode 8, "All in the Family"
There was very little genius to be had in Episode 2.8 of Jersey Shore, probably due to the regrettable lack of Snooki, who always has insightful things to say. She must store her brilliance in her pouf. Thankfully, we still had The Situation to light up our dim minds, as he managed to solve an equation that has been baffling man since the beginning of time.

Substance Abuse. Angelina has made some questionable decisions this season, and now we know why. "You do stupid things when you're drunk," she admitted. Does that mean she's drunk all the time?

"The Ho Equation": From Professor Situation: "You have proven an equation that people have been trying to solve for hundreds of years: that when you are nice to a girl and you take her on four dates, you snuggle with the girl, you buy her gifts, she will not call you, she will play you the f*** out and then she will f*** someone three days later with someone that she hates!"

Health Care: Uncle Nino seems like a man who has lived a happy and interesting life. So when he speaks, you listen (if you can understand him). This is one nugget of wisdom we'll keep with us forever: "I went to a doctor and he said stop drinking, stop doing drugs, and stop having sex. You know what I did? I switched doctors!" Sage advice from a regal O.G