The Jersey Shore gang has been in Italy for less than a week, and already they've managed to piss off the locals. Shocker, right?! But really, we were hoping they'd at least make it through a full calendar week before making the rest of us Americans look like a bunch of jags. Anyway, folks, here are the top five ways that Snooki and company have managed to offend, irk, and otherwise plague the otherwise peaceful people of Florence.
1. Deena Is a Moron, Part 1
We love us some Deena, don't get us wrong, but, oh marone! The girl's a perfect example of why Americans abroad have a pretty bad rep. Yesterday, we learned that our favorite little meatball almost fell off of a bridge. And before you start thinking, "Oh, the poor thing," we should probably point out that D almost fell into the Arno River because she was illegally climbing on the wrong side of the arch. We're like, really Deena? What's next? JWoww taking one of her legendary public pees on top of Michelangelo's David?
2. Deena Is a Moron, Part 2
...Oh wait, Deena's basically already done that: Deena was also recently spotted walking around the birthplace of the Renaissance wearing a slightly over-the-top apron — and by "over the top," we mean, "It's a print of Michelangelo's David, with the famous statue's junk on full display." Way to keep it classy, D!
3. They're Kind of Bad Drivers
Yep, the macaroni rascals have already racked up a whopping $375 in driving fines. And sure, we could look on the bright side and say, "Yeah, but that's like a $400 donation to the city of Florence" — but one of the violations was for driving in a pedestrian zone. A pedestrian zone, people! That's like taking a Zamboni to the mall and steamrolling through the food court.
4. Mob Mentality
It may be a super-famous tourist hot-spot, but a huge part of Florence's charm is the fact that it's a laid-back, chill kind of city. Or, rather, it was a laid-back chill kind of city...before Snooki and The Situation started clogging Florence's winding Medieval streets, followed by mobs of screaming fans. Hmm, maybe the never-ending herd of on-lookers helps explain why the cast is moping around Florence, looking like somebody just died.
5. Customer Service? — Yeah, Right!
The kind bigwigs over at MTV have graciously hooked the gang up with jobs at a local pizza parlor. Well done, producers! Nothing says "outstanding customer service" like the inability to speak the customers' native language, mixed with a blatant disregard for any kind of a work ethic (for three seasons and counting!). Oh, and the best part is that, according to the New York Post, a rival pizza joint has already put up a sign that says, "Tamarri Americans? 'Jersey Shore'...no, thank you. Only real Italian pizza." Way harsh! — especially when you consider the fact that tamarri is Italian for "uncultured idiot." So at least they've seen the show, then, right?