Snooki vs. Jionni, Jionni vs. The Situation, the girls vs. stripper shoes vs. cobblestones. Season 4, Episode 8 “Where’s My Boyfriend” was filled with conflicts, both fabricated and with inanimate objects. Of course, between Snooki's fender-bender and the drunken mascara massacre of 2011 (aka, her fight with Jionni) Episode 8 was filled with juicy quotables. Without further ado...

1. Snooki, after her car accident: "I went to jail! AGAIN."
...No you didn't, Snooks. As much as we want this to be the guido manta, no you did not.

2. The Situation, on the dude/chick dynamic at the discotech: "I would say that Club Space had so much better ratio between hot dog buns and hot dogs that I am determined to get it in tonight."
Spoken like a fifth grader.

3. Snooki, on Brittany: "This bitch is like, beyond psycho and crazy. I don't even know what to call it. Like, you're a wildebeest."
A noble effort, Snooki, but that still isn't the word you're looking for.

4. The Situation on juggling two girls: "Hey, I already got a bun in the oven. No need to warm another one up. Time to go home, Australian chick."
Really hitting the metaphors hard this episode, aren't we Mike?

5. Snooki: "Jionni is like, my world. Jionni is like crocodilly but alive."
And yet, he doesn't really respond to being humped any better.

6. Deena, to Karate Mike: "Do your thing, Kung-Fu Panda."
We couldn't have said it better ourselves.

7. Snooki, on popping out Jionni's guido babies: "I'm gonna have a C-section, 'cause I don't want it to f*ck up my vagina."
Well now we know why she loves to show it off so much.

8. Pauly D, to Mike about Jionni: "Yo, if you wanna talk to him, knock yourself out."
See what he did there?

9. JWOWW: "Jionni, please, my f*cking ankles can't take this sh*t."
Surprisingly, not a sex quote.

10. Snooki, to her boyfriend: "I f*cking love you, you f*cking dick."
That's love, kids.

Want more? Read our recap of Jersey Shore Season 4, Episode 8 “Where’s My Boyfriend.”