Halloween can be a stressful time of year, what with all the vampires, witches, and werewolves making the transition from on-screen phenomena to candy-craving trick-or-treaters. Most people simply don't have the time to come up with a clever costume, and countless others lack the necessary creativity, going as the same monster, sexpot, or dead president year after year. Fear not, all you costume-challenged individuals: Jersey Shore has come to your rescue with a cast of awesomely tanned, coiffed characters. Our pick for the best Halloween costume ever? Snooki, of course. Here are all the steps needed to make your costume stand out.
Unlike the Jersey Shore boys, Snooki's not known for her muscles. The best accessory you can pack into your Snooki costume is your short stature. Those high cupboards that have kept you out of cookie reach, the concerts you heard but didn't see, the professional basketball player dreams you laid to rest — all of those fade into the background, for you are the perfect Snooki size. Okay, even those 4-feet-11 and above can still pull off the Snook Look, but the shorties have the advantage.
Skin cancer's a scary thing, kids. We recommend you skip the sun and the fake-bake beds and instead follow the advice of the video below to use two different self-tanners to replicate Snooki's signature orange glow.
To pouf or not to pouf, that is the dilemma. Snooks shocked Jersey Shore fans the world over when she emerged at the 2010 MTV VMAs with bangs instead of a bouffant. But to really capture the essence of Snooki, we suggest you pump up the volume. If you lack Snooki's midnight locks, or if your hair is thinner than Ronnie's excuses to Sammi, you may want to go the wig route. There are plenty of companies just waiting for you to shell out some cash for your own personal pouf.
If you are blessed with a mane like Snooki's, you can follow the video below, in which Snooki tries (and fails) to pass on the wisdom of the pouf. The steps are there, but Snooki's client simply lacks the requisite amount of hair. The 'do requires lots of hair spray, a teasing comb, and possibly a hair dryer. An anti-gravity field might also help.
According to the video below, the smokey eye and the Snooki eye are synonymous. You will definitely want to pick up gray eye shadow, black eyeliner, and false eyelashes. The video explaining self-tanner (see above) also has detailed instructions for how to pack on the panda eyes. Skip to about 5:22 for this edifying section.
To complete your makeup, use a rosy blush and nude lipstick — which you can carry around in your cleavage à la Snooki if your ensemble lacks pockets. Are you a nail biter? It would be wise to invest in some press-ons of the French-tip variety. You'll likely lose a few throughout the night, but this will only add to your costume's authenticity.
What you actually wear to capture the aura of Snooki may depend on whether you'll be tricking or treating. If, like Snooki, you like to show off your ta-tas — whether JWOWW enhanced or au naturel — nothing short of Snooki herself screams Jersey Shore like a tight, short dress and high heels. If you feel the need for falsies (just don't wear them in the hot tub) or simply want to keep a little covered up in the October chill, a T-shirt, booty shorts, and fluffy pink slippers will immediately identify you as post-partying, bedtime Snooki. Either way, you're going to be showing a lot of thigh.
If you feel under-Snooki-fied, a few choice props could make all the difference. Anything pickle-themed, a pair of rhinestone-encrusted sunglasses, or a batch of Ron Ron Juice will add to your Shore cred. If you simply can't master the pouf, a ridiculously loud Ed Hardy trucker hat will hide your hair fail.
Warning: Just because you look like Snooki does not give you license to act like Snooki. Keep the handsprings to a minimum, and whatever you do, stay away from the grenade grundle chodes.
Finally, if this getup is too involved — or proves to be too dangerous when combined with Ron Ron Juice — pick up a premade Pauly D costume. After all, it's got the official Pauly D seal of approval. Or make your own!