“Yo, can I talk to you outside?” That’s where we ended last week, and that’s where we’re picking up this week on Jersey Shore Season 6, Episode 11: “Awkward!” Vinny would like to step outside of Snooki’s baby shower and have a word with soon to be baby daddy Jionni. That’s right, we’re back at Rivoli’s, and it feels so good. Vinny chooses this moment to affirm his “bigger man” status to Jionni’s smaller one. Jionni, in a rare moment of personality, stands up for his distaste of Vinny’s “I’m the father” jokes. Bigger man Vinny agrees, the talk goes well, and Vinny has finally secured his wedding invitation. Prediction: wedding as Series Finale?
Let the baby bottle chugging contest begin. On your mark, get set, suck. Ron wins. Sammi accuses him of cheating. Wouldn’t be the first time. Once the wackiness of the big chug dies down, JWOWW chooses this opportunity to kick a dead horse and gives Jionni formal permission to come around more and take care of his girl. The wrath of Jenni is well-meaning, albeit poorly timed.
The Situation’s arms look especially big in this episode, like he stopped off at the gym before every scene was filmed. Paid off; good move. He heads over to Snooki to finally clog the hole in the sink that is their relationship. He tries to make some more awkward small talk, but it comes off as just that, and Snooki continues this “I want you to go [f-expletive]in‘ die and rot in a hole” storyline with The Sitch.
Mike wears a periwinkle tank top, and Snooki’s in a black-and-white striped cami schmatta. He looks her sober in the eyes and tells her that he is sorry. We flash back to moments from seasons past, rocketing down the road toward the inevitable conclusion of this arc. He tells her that she’s the only girl he’s ever been friends with. In the end, Snooki declares she’s over it — using the baby card — and decides to accept his apology.
Sammi, still in search of a plot that doesn’t revolve around her fights with Ronnie, declares herself a prankster, and goes on a mission to be Pranky McPrankersweetheart and mess with the boys. The prank doesn’t go so well for the resident “sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet,” and we regress into a Ronnie/Sammi mini-fight.
Enough of that. Time to GTL. Guess whom one might run into if he heads to the tanning salon? If you guessed Paula, you’re good at this! Paula slips Mike a note in the tanning bed, and rather than be creeped out, Mike gives her a big bear hug, as one often does after breaking up with a girl.
“HI. So I did a lot of thinking this weekend. I miss you so friggin much.” That would be an excerpt from Paula’s note.
Vinny’s handicapped for the night because of his sickness (he coughs at one point), so he’ll be spending the evening with his old friend Snooki. JWOWW, stomach in knots, decides to head to bed. Sleep tight. The remaining crew head out to Aztec, as the once-lovers Vinny and Snooki, remain planted on the couch. Not for long! They mount electric scooters and ride around an abandoned boardwalk, passing Aztec as the camera heads in to catch up with the rest of the crew. Guess who’s at Aztec! If you guessed Paula, you’re right. (And damn, you’re good.) Doe-eyed Paula asks Mike to hold her drink, which isn’t the smartest thing to request of someone who’s just come out of rehab.
Now comes the most exciting moment of the entire season thus far: Snooki and Vinny hit the Aztec dance floor on their electric scooters. It’s Snooki’s first club appearance all season! Clearly, their friendship has been reaffirmed. They pound it out at the end of the night, but this time they limit it to bumping fists. They grow up so fast.
Mike starts talking to a very DTF blonde, and Paula quickly approaches to continue her streak of doing awkward things. Mike admits — and we’re not paraphrasing — that he was considering “knocking the dust off her” before she decided to go all Sissy Spacek in Carrie. Where have we heard that one? Ice T’s Friday. Of course that’s where we heard it.
The realness of Snooki’s pregnancy is here, as Snooki & Co. head to the doctor for a sonogram. It’s our first look at Little Baby Lorenzo. The doctor confirms the size of the baby’s genitalia — large — and Snooki lets out a sigh of relief. She wants big meatballs on her little meatball. No time to celebrate, as JWOWW once again lays it to ever-absent Jionni. Awkwardness ensues. Jenni, love you, but stop doing this.
Vinny decides Jionni needs to come out with them as a way to initiate him into the family. His intentions seem pure, as the rebuilt Shore Family is no longer divided. Snooki just doesn’t want Jionni’s balls busted at this boys’ night. “Like, Vinny, you have to promise!” So when the boys are away (at the club), the girls will play (at the house). And play they do.
A knock at the door as Zen Jen arrives to bless the house. What was supposed to be a night of face-masking and onesies turns into chills throughout Zen Jen’s body as she paces around the house looking for ghosts. She gets more chills, and Deena fully freaks out as the audience is clued into the fact that this whole thing is a prank. Should have known, what with Sammi being a part of this.
Meanwhile, the boys grab cigars and act all old-school Italian as they engage Jionni in a sit-down. Vinny’s hipsterness is at a fever pitch as he lays into Jionni, wanting to know his intentions. Jionni starts talking about Italy, and it gets tense for a second. But it’s mostly just the dramatic music building up to the inevitable apologies. Issues are brought to the (small cigar) table, and everyone reaffirms their shared love (but not that kind of love) for Snooki. You know what this means? The fellas have scored an all-access pass to Jionni’s bachelor party. Salud!
Can hatchets remain buried? Stay tuned!
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