Man, it didn't take very long for the Jersey Shore kids to start offending Italy — not to mention each other! This week's guido-fest packed in a whole lot of sleazy Situation time, one hell of a bromantic hot tub, and a whole lot of other cray-cray goodness. So don't call the cabs just yet, because we’ve got your top 5 ridiculous moments from Season 4, Episode 2 right here!
5. Falling For You
Deena may have tried throwing herself pretty hard at Pauly D this episode, but she seemed even more hell-bent at throwing herself on the ground. I mean, we've always known that this little meatball isn't the the most graceful guidette in the group, but man! — we actually lost count of the amount of diggers she took this week. Remember a few months ago, when the paps snapped pictures of Deena nearly taking a tumbler off of one of Florence's historic bridges? Yeah, well that head-scratchin' train wreck is starting to make a whoooole lot more sense now.
4. Is That a Jacuzzi Jet, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Vinny really, really wanted to try out the house's hot tub, and he seemed hell-bent on taking Ronnie in with him. Only problem: unlike its jumbo-sized American cousin, the Italian hot tub is a much smaller, more intimate beast — which Ron and Vin quickly found out as a the super powerful jets pushed them closer, and closer, and closer together. Hey, when in Rome — er, Florence — right, guys?
3. PS, You're in Florence
Speaking of hilarious location confusion! This week, the macaroni rascals seemed to know that they were in a foreign land — they just seemed confused about which foreign land, and why nobody else spoke English there. There were two — two! — separate incidents in which different wanderlusting housemates mistook buildings in Florence for the Vatican (which, FYI Deena! — is a city-state and not a building! And is about as geographically close to Florence as the Seaside Heights boardwalk is to Cape Cod!); there was a whole lot of raging about the fact that everything in Italy is written in Italian (I mean, imagine!); and then there was JWOWW's leopard-print blanket statement that Italians don't know jack from coffee. Which, having been to the espresso-worshipping country of Italy myself, is a statement that I'm pretty sure could get Jenni killed or, at the very least, seriously maimed. All this, and we're only two episodes in! I'm telling you, if the Italians don't turn on this embarrassing pack of American tourists gone wild, then I just might.
2. Just Can't Handle This Situation
In previous seasons, Mike has endeared us with his surprising, unexpected words of wisdom. But this season, Mike has merely managed to appall us with his impeccable ability to make every situation feel about as comfortable as accidentally catching one's parents having full-on sex. From getting way, way, way too touchy-feely with Snooki and her poor little, over-rubbed knee, to attempting to instigate (the inevitable) World War Three between Ron and Sam, to kicking out hook-ups a full two seconds after finishing what he poetically referred to as a "blow-pop", Mike has quickly become our least fave castaway of the season.
1. Baby, Talk is Cheap
Which isn't to say that Ron an Sam are faring much better! There was a glimmer of a promise of a hope that these two had hung up their boxing gloves for good, and would be able to plow through Florence without their sickeningly endless cycle of mating then hating. Yeah, that lasted for a full episode-and-a-half. At the end of this week's episode, the pair reverted back to their gag-inducing baby-talk ways, with Sammi snuggle-whispering into Ron's ear about co-dependent cuddles, and Ron hush-crying into his late-night snack. Like clockwork, these two!