Last night's Jersey Shore Season 5, Episode 7: "Love at the Jersey Shore" answered the age-old question: can you create an entire hour of television consisting of mundane details, like who ate a piece of cake? It turns out that you can. On this week's installment, the gang sussed out a yellow cake thief, Snooki finally went to a doctor, and JWOWW and Roger made up.
You Don't Just Eat an I'm Sorry Cake
After almost getting fired from the Shore Store last week for running off and getting drunk in the middle of "work," Deena and Snooki decide to make Danny a cake to apologize. Looking like the classroom cakes of everyone's childhood, the girls were proud of themselves for having done more work in those 30 minutes than they'd done in years. When they woke up, they discovered a hungry thief had stolen a small piece of cake, and of course, blamed it on everyone's favorite scapegoat, The Situation.
There was a bunch of fake, stilted dialogue where everyone pretends to care who ate the small piece of cake. Ronnie denied it, because he would never eat a cake that was not made solely of powdered muscle milk, followed by Mike's incessant claims he was on a diet (The Situation Diet, coming to a GNC near you). The real cake thief turned out to be Pauly D, who like me, can not have cake in his house without eating it.
Jenni Shows Roger Why He Puts Up With Her
In a sad example for suffering girlfriends everywhere, Jenni made up with Roger, after he pulled the classic manipulative trick of turning her (valid) concerns about his flakiness around on her. He accused her of being insecure and that he shouldn't have to suffer for the mistakes of her ex-boyfriends. Another way he could prevent Jenni from freaking out on him is to actually return her calls and show up when he says he will, but apparently this has not crossed his mind.
Jenni buys that all their problems are solely her fault, and tells the other girls, who call her a "brat." Roger finally shows up at the Shore house, where Jenni greets him for a night out at Karma in a what can loosely be described as a dress. Jenni says she wanted to show him "two big reasons" why he likes her. While at the club, she starts to regret her decision and even asks for a shirt in case she gets into a fight. There was no word if there would be a shirt after the first shirt.
Deena Turnpikes Too Hard And Mike Finally Hooks Up
After a couple of false starts, The Situation finally had the sex he is constantly talking about instead of passing out as usual. His "main squeeze" Paula comes to visit, and since it's her birthday, the rules say she must get birthday sex. We were spared a night vision rendition of their love, but were not so lucky when Deena had Joey over. They hooked up so hard her back was in pain the next day, a hazard of Shore hookups.
There Might Be Love at The Shore, But It Is Boring
While this episode was thankfully light on fake Shore Store drama, it was light on just about everything else. The cake issue went on and on for an eternity, and no one was even drunk when it happened. Mike attempted to get together with The Unit again to ruin Snooki, and that these brief phone calls with no resolution are given air time just demonstrates how little actual footage MTV has to show us. Once again, cast members talk about how bored they are in talking heads, with Snooki so bored she willingly goes to watch Deena and Joey have sex. The only people who appear to still be having fun are Pauly D, Vinny and Deena.
Next week, it looks like they will bring out sad old Angelina to liven things up, and Snooki and Sitch will go at it, just like old times. Let's hope it's as good it used to be.
Catch the macaroni rascals on a new episode of Jersey Shore on Thursday, February 23 at 10 pm ET/PT on MTV.
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