All About Snooki! On Jersey Shore Season 6, Episode 10: “Shore Shower,” Snooki leaves her castle on a cloud and heads over to socialize with her one-time roomies. Snooki and Deena shoot the girl sh--, and Snooks mentions Jionni’s annoying softball tournaments — his big hobby. While she finds the whole sports thing sexy and all, exhale, she misses her main boo. She’s starving and wants to go stuff her pregnant face with her most precious meatball. Ronnie tries to invite them to Jimbo’s, but being that he’s a meathead, not a meatball, he gets the shaft. ’Cause it’s gonna be a girls’ date at Luna Rose.
Meanwhile, eternally in search of some kind of purpose, Ronnie puts on a gorilla costume and tries to scare JWOWW. She freaks out (as one often does when awoken by a gorilla), but there isn’t much time for “oh no he didn’t” as we cut to her in her bra, pushing everything together, smooshing and mooshing, until it forms the WOW(W) in JWOWW.
With the meatballs at their exclusive meatball-only dinner, the remaining roommates head to Jimbo’s, where they talk a lot of smack about Snooki’s relationship with Jionni (a theme throughout the season). Everyone is not a fan of Jionni and is frustrated that he hasn’t come to visit Snooki more. They miss Snooki’s smile, which is nice to hear, but they need to butt out and let her find her happiness.
Snooki has her neon nails (each a different color) and her signature leopard print on her sleeves. Her oversized Michael Kors watch works in so many ways. The meatballs order those fun sugary drinks. Spotted on the table: bottled water, lobster, ketchup. Luna Rose is never a letdown. The ladies discuss their respective sex lives over a salad. Deena asks Snooki what would happen if a bug crawled up her hoo-ha. She’s curious if the bug could hatch eggs and thus make her pregnant. Deena, eat your salad.
Next up is an MVP extravaganza, because The Situation is single once again, and he’s ready to do things your classic mingler wouldn’t/couldn’t do. Awkward alert though, because his ex Paula is at the club. Mike tells her she looks hot (and means it). Small talk happens for a few seconds, and then Mike wishes her well as he begins his search for other womens. Mike (signature Armani Exchange totally happening) grinds up against some “lady” while Paula watches on like the jealous ex-girlfriend she is.
JWOWW decides to show the club’s two-bit nobody go-go dancer how it’s done. She assumes the box, throws her fists in the air, shakes her various moneymakers, WOWWing the crowd of DTF onlookers. Sorry, fellas, she ain’t single; she’s saving the last dance for Roger. Mike, who is single and making it known, is in the middle of sealing the deal when Paula swoops in for the cock block. MVP three-strikes out and heads home.
Snooki’s excited for tonight, because she’s going to be able to get it in with Jionni (her words). First up, though, some baby shopping for Snooks. But wait, there’s a surprise baby shower on the way! Deena and Sammi run over to snatch Jionni’s ear for a moment to convince him to talk her out of shopping for their little meatball. The girls then run out quickly, as Snooki begins slurping a Capri Sun (foreplay!). Looks like sex will have to wait, though, because Snooks and Jionni head over to the house for a quick hello (and an inadvertent attempt to ruin the surprise). Quick, hide everything.
At dinner, Snooki and Jionni sit in a private room. Meanwhile, back at the house, JWOWW plays with her hombre and tries to convince Vinny to come to the baby shower. Vin doesn’t want to come because he feels like neither Snooki nor Jionni likes him. One thing our favorite Shore couple (sorry, Ronnie/Sammi) does like is sex, and they head home from their quiet dinner to finally have that “hit it” time.
The jungle of the night is Merge, a gargantuan club we need to go to ASAP. JWOWW rips her pants as she attempts to drop it on the dance floor. Mike’s having the sober time of his life when all of the sudden a rachet more rachety than Paula appears. Who could that be? Angelina. You remember Angelina, don’t you? She’s here to apologize — repeatedly — over the thundering bass. She wants to be, like, cool with everyone and “whatever.” She’s grown up and she really just wants to say she’s sorry. She’ll wrap her arms around you and tell you. She’ll appear out of nowhere, creeping up behind you for another sorry. Hell, she’ll take your drink order if you’ll just listen to her say she’s sorry. Solution: Bounce.
Where to? Steaks Unlimited. Well, not for everyone. Vinny, the celibate horndog that he is, decides to walk home alone for no apparent reason, and lo and behold two hot DTF girls approach him and ask him to sandwich up. They don’t even exchange names, just glances, before JWOWW 2.0 and JWOWW 3.0 head back to the house with Vin to make the aforementioned sandwich. They may be even more DTF than Vinny, which works well for onlookers Mike and Pauly, who have prime seats (JWOWW — the original — is in the smoosh room with Rog). After a few minutes, JWOWW 2.0 or 3.0 (they look the same) takes off, and Vinny’s left with just one. Someone should explain to Vinny the purpose of taking a vow of celibacy.
The next morning, it’s time for the much anticipated baby shower. JWOWW’s decorating committee, consisting of Deena and Sammi, is a struggle at best. The tissue paper pom-pom kit doesn’t have English instructions, and nobody got enough sleep the night before, so everyone’s irritable. JWOWW proclaims that “nobody can decorate like this,” and she is correct. But... it looks down-home precious.
JWOWW is a decent liar: She sashays down the steps in a leopard-print sarong with a cigarette, announcing she won’t be a part of roommate night at Rivoli’s. Mislead! Everyone puts on their Rivoli’s finest in preparation for the baby shower we never saw coming. A brief flashback to Snooki’s original Shore House entrance — Throwback Thursday: Season 1, Episode 1 — serves as yet another reminder of her transformation right before our very eyes from a pint-size girl into a pint-size woman.
The shore shower commences when Snooki arrives and bursts into tears. Her friends from back home are there, along with Jionni, the roommates, and boatloads of food and drink. The guys couldn’t seem more bored, and they watch the goings on in silence.
Vinny, who’s not a bad guy, but has adopted the attitude of one to deal with the tension between himself and Jionni, asks Jionni to step outside so they can have a chat — a chat we’ll have to wait for until next week.
Team Vinny? Team Jionni? How about Team Resolve Your Sh--t!
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