“It looks like a fat meatball!” Snooki concludes as JWOWW squeals, “It looks like a shrimp!”
Yup. It does look like those things. And what is “it,” exactly? Oh, y’know, Snooki and Jionni’s unborn child.
“It takes after us,” Jionni smiles. Aw, scrumptious.
In this week’s episode of Snooki & JWOWW, we all get to see the fruit of the meatball’s loins in a surprisingly educational visit to Nicole’s new doctor, as we join the first-time parents for their first ever ultrasound.
“The doctor is an OB/GYN. I don’t know what that stands for, but all I know is it delivers babies,” Snooki explains in a confessional. As our beloved mom-to-be will be the first to admit, she’s a bit prissy, in that there’s a lot she don’t know ‘bout birthin’ babies. Luckily, she encounters plenty of kind folk who help quell her qualms before her big appointment.
Take, for instance, “awesome pregnant lady Megan,” who confirms, once and for all, that “your vagina [indeed] rips into your butthole” during childbirth.
Megan also emphasises the importance of trusting your doctor; we think this strikes a chord with Snooks, considering she hasn’t yet met hers. Or had she?
As they get ready for Nicole’s ultrasound appointment (which appears to be in the middle of the night unless, of course, that’s just how the New Jersey sky looks), Jenni asks, “Do you like your doctor?”
“Yeah, he delivered Jionni.” Of course she likes him! He ushered her man into this world! He did the same for Jionni's siblings, and nieces and nephews.
When it comes time to actually see and say how-do-you-do to her growing child, Nicole “was like, ‘Ew!!!!’ cuz it looked like an alien.” There are definitely a few seconds during which we are very nervous that she'll puke on television (again). Jenni notices, too, noting, “The moment she screamed ‘ew,’ I...choked down tears cuz I was like ‘great, the mom’s not even crying...’”
Mommy and baby both receive clean bills of health from the doc. Everything came out normal and, for once, “normal” is all we want to hear.
“The doctor’s appointment, overall,” Snooki says, “I give an A+ because everything went well, I had two people that I love, the baby was healthy and it was really cool to see it flip around and stuff like that.”
In an episode peppered with peculiarly poignant moments (Nicole’s rant on the health risks of “holding in [one’s] poop” leaps to mind) our hands-down favorite moment is when Snooki is looking at her baby on the screen, and after all of her worried questions have been answered, assuaged and explained away, she is completely overwhelmed with glee and squeals, “I LOVE HIM ALREADY!!!! Omg I love him. Or her.” Omg, so do we, Snooks. Congrats.
Now with the first ultrasound under her belt, Nicole has learned a lot and will hopefully feel a touch calmed and whole lotta supported for the rest of the season.
“It means so much that I have my best friend here AND Jionni, who is so excited to be a dad, it’s awesome. It’s just a great feeling to have, like, love everywhere.”