2011 was a wild one for the amazing eight. Jersey Shore’s macaroni rascals had not one, but two full seasons on MTV this year, meaning twice as much cooka, alcohol, underwears (and body parts) falling off, and twice as much whale sperm-tainted water than usual.
Season 3 introduced the world to Deena Nicole Cortese, Snooki’s equal in size, volume, and belligerence. Despite some early tension, Deena and her grammars and vocabularies became right at home in Jersey, and we couldn’t imagine life at the Shore without her. Season 4, of course, will go down in history due to the invasion of Italy.
Needless to say, both seasons were full of quotable moments. We gathered our favorite fifteen of the year:
1. Snooki on Season 4, Episode 11: "Being kicked out of the club? Meatball problems. Burning your cooka in the jacuzzi? Meatballs problems."
Being kicked out of the jacuzzi for peeing in it? Meatball problems.
2. Deena, to The Situation on Season 4, Episode 11: "I can lose weight for free. You need about ten grand to fix your f*cking face."
And then we ran around the room shouting, “Ding dong, the Sitch is dead.”
3. Pauly on Season 4, Episode 10: "I hope your family likes me."
Vinny: "Oh, they will baby. Don't worry about it."
Pauly: "You might be moving too fast for me."
If Pauly and Vinny were Muppets, they would be Bert & Ernie.
4. The Situation on Season 4, Episode 7: "The guys right now, we don't think the Meatballs are gonna make it to dinner tonight. Snooki and Deena are the Meatballs, and they're not making it to the sauce."
No, but they will make it to the jacuzzi, where they will burn some cookas.
5. Vinny on Season 4, Episode 7: "It smells like hot sweat and regret in here."
If only Vinny’s rap lyrics were this poetic.
6. Deena on Season 4, Episode 7: “It's only, like, Jersey girls that can dance so hard their underwears come off," and "Whatever, I forgot to put underwears on."
It’s only, like, Deena that can dance so hard her vocabulary falls off.
7. Pauly on Season 4, Episode 5: “What comes to mind when I think about Ronnie and Sam is me throwing up because I can’t stand it anymore.”
The guido speaks for all of us.
8. Snooki on Season 3, Episode 13: "Tonight is the night of the party. Get it all out, frickin' do everything that you can, you know. Have sex with an old man, steal a plant, and then get arrested, and then do whatever."
Um, can we have an invite to this party?
9. Vinny on Season 3, Episode 12: "Through the grenades, I'm always, like, looking to find, like, the one flower that's in the weeds."
Or, you know, try looking for flowers in a garden, not the Garden State’s back alley.
10. JWOWW on Season 3, Episode 10: "It won't be long before Mike's d**k falls off."
And when it does, he’ll use it as a model for Situation-branded dildos.
11. Deena on Season 3, Episode 9: "Mike thinks he's gonna get one over on the meatballs — but in reality, baby, the meatballs make the best of every situation."
If by “the best,” you mean “wreak drunken havoc on,” then yes, Deena.
12. Snooki on Season 3, Episode 6: "Everybody Google it. Because that's why the water is salty. From the f**king whale sperm."
So THAT’s how Deena got pregnant!
13. Sammi on Season 3, Episode 6: "Why IS Ronnie bleeding out of his ass? I have no idea."
Maybe you should stop making him bend over for you?
14. Ronnie on Season 3, Episode 3: “I need a mind condom, because I’m being mind f*cked.”
Sorry, we have no snark for you. That’s a line we may actually use.
15. Vinny on Season 3, Episode 1: “I have to go where I belong. Like a monkey has to go to the jungle, I have to go to the Jersey Shore.”
And we have to watch you.
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