Pauly: "I can't concentrate. [Sammi and Ronnie] are talking about relationships. My sneakers are dirty."
Pauly: "Oh, yeeeah!"
Pauly: "Cabs are heeeeere!"
Pauly: "Don’t let the spiky hair fool you, like I’m not a bitch.
Pauly: "Mike could not play wingman for me. I need somebody that knows how to take one for the team, or entertain a grenade, or even decipher the bomb if one comes. It’s a war out there."
Pauly (on The Situation’s failure to get it in): "He tried and tried and tried. I didn’t have to try. I never had to try. You’re in f*ckin’ bed with f*ckin’ Pauly D!"
Pauly: "Yo, want to know something that’s crazy? At one point we all didn’t know any of us. Like, know what I’m saying? Now look at us. We all know each other’s flaws, we know how to push each other’s buttons, we all know what Snooki’s “cooka” looks like..."
Pauly (asking Rocio out on a date): "Vinny's gonna take the girl he's in love with, I'm gonna take the girl I'm in love with, then I figured you could come, too."
Pauly: "The party’s in Pauly D’s pants tonight."
Pauly: "I did not know Staten Island is an actual island, until we went over the bridge."
Pauly: "I love Vinny's family, they're like my own family: old-school Italian. It was like a guido circus."
Pauly: "GTF! Gym. Tan. Find out who Sam is texting behind Ronnie's back."
Pauly (about Sammi and Ronnie's relationship):: "If this relationship continues I'll kill myself. There'll be no more DJ. I will kill myself if they're still together. I will kill myself."
Pauly: "I'm in the bathroom getting fresh to death, as I do — and I see these disgusting panties. And I'm like, 'who the hell's panties are these?' So I'm like, I need to investigate this."
Pauly: "In a weird Snookers world, like me and Snookers would make the best, like, little guidos and guidettes, little poofs and blow-outs on our little kids."