Credit: Confessions of a Guidette Photo: Confessions of a Guidette book cover 10/28/11

So what meatball nuggets of advice is Jersey Shore’s Snooki delving out in her newest book, Confessions of a Guidette? After reading a sneak preview, we realized that Snooki really isn’t spreading her brand-tastic capabilities far enough. Based on these quotes, she could easily become an expert on any of the following:

Fashion:
Hoop earrings “have to be big enough to fit a Red Bull through.”

Grooming:
“Your hair should make you six inches taller….”
“The kitty litter facial: use clean litter, mix it with hot water, and apply it for 10 minutes.”

Animal Care:
“Don’t talk s–t about my cat; I’ll go squirrel monkey on your ass.”

Furniture Decor:
This quote: “If I could strap my bed to my ass and take it everywhere, I would.”

Mixologist:
Snooki recipe, The Pickletini (it’s her own creation): 1 part vodka, 1/2 part pickle juice from a jar of pickles

Relationship Counselor:
“I want my relationship to be just like Titanic, Avatar, and Just Married.”

Improv:
“I’m a really good actor.” However, “I don’t want to remember lines.”

Source: EW

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