Today is the day of Snooki’s trial. Don’t worry: We marked our calendars so you wouldn’t have to. Charged with disorderly conduct earlier this summer after getting trashed in Seaside Heights, creating a public nuisance, and being criminally annoying (yes, “annoying people” is a municipal ordinance violation), Snooki will plead not guilty on all counts. Worst-case scenario: If found guilty, Snooki will have to cough up $3,200 in fines and serve a 30-day jail sentence. Whoa. We know Lindsay Lohan handled jail alright and all, but she’s scrappy. What’s gonna happen to poor Snooks?
She assures everyone that she has no business in jail: “I’m too pretty to be in jail. I'm a good person. I'm not a criminal and I will never go back there.” She adds, "I don't know why people take it so seriously. I had a couple cocktails, and they just put me in a drunk tank to sober me up."
We typically find it obnoxious that celebs get away with everything because they’re somehow above the law, but, in this case, we’re on Team Snooki. She’s virtually harmless and completely entertaining. Let’s redirect those efforts into something that will really benefit the people of New Jersey, like arresting Angelina for criminal acts of trying too hard.
Read Snooki's Verdict here.