On Snooki & JWOWW Season 1, Episode 4, the girls are finally feeling settled. Naturally, now that the nesting phase is complete, the ladies are ready to start hosting parties, and they decide to show off their new digs to their former (and possibly future) roommates from Jersey Shore (well, everyone except The Situation). As Snooki emphasizes, “[she’s] got big news to tell them.”
However, before they play hostess, they need to finish decorating because who would ever dare to have guests over until one’s home has been completely “guidified”? But it’s not as easy as taping zebra tape on cow print fabric.
There are some major homemaking hiccups, including a handyman who a) comes without his own tools, and b) tells a sex story that is even too much for our notoriously provocative duo (they completely black out their mouths so we can’t even read lips to decipher what could possibly offend the two least judgmental women on television). All the drapes he puts up (with tape, staples and nail glue?) fall down. Nonetheless, the apartment gets properly guidified just in time for Pauly D to show up and help assemble furniture.
One wet bar set, one zebra rug, three leopard-print chairs, a few yards of cow print fabric, a 3-piece zebra print ottoman set (including a storage bench that Snooki fondly adopts as a coffin), and ten rolls of zebra tape later, the girls’ “Barbie Guidette Dreamhouse” is indeed ready to impress. The guests describe the décor in the following ways.
Pauly D: “The style of this house is an art deco... [laughs]. There’s no more animal print left in Jersey right now … it’s very Snook & Jenny.”
Ronnie: “It’s very creepy … but it’s cute.”
Pauly D: “It’s, uh, chic? Shall I say?” You shall, Pauly. If you want. Besides, like the girls said: “PETA can’t get mad at our house … it’s just cloth. Not real zebra.” So take that.
However, approval on décor is one thing the girls don’t really need (they’re pretty steadfast in their taste). The real reason Snooki wanted to gather the Shoremates around her table is to share her latest life decisions and, well, garnering support for those is a lot testier.
Given the cliffhanger ending of this week’s episode, we only get to see the group’s reaction to the engagement. Pregnancy confessions are wait-til-next-week fodder for sure. If Vinny thinks that “hell is freezing over right now,” we can’t wait to see what he says when he learns that Nicole “Party’s heeah!” Polizzi is going to become a mommy. Given his flirtatious “I gotta girlfriend … NOT” prank tonight, we’re not sure if we’re ready to see the level of heartbreak that Snooki’s pregnancy will inevitably induce. Poor Vin.
Others seem to take the news slightly better. Immediately after Snooki confides that Jionni popped the question, Pauly D exclaims “I’m DJ’ing the wedding!” That morsel of loud-mouthed excitement seems to invite a flood of questions and ball-breaking that one can expect from a big, boisterous family (and a jealous former flame) including these words of wisdom.
Vinny: “Jionni was a one-night stand!”
Ronnie: “Did Jionni finish school already?”
Vinny: “You guys are gonna be divorced soon, anyway.”
Deena Nicole and Sammi seem similarly incredulous and JWOWW takes the opportunity to unload a little pent-up frustration by poking a little fun with the rest of la famiglia. Poor Snooki calls it the “worst time of [her] life” and posits that “getting engaged is not a time to bust balls.” If only they knew she was with child, maybe they’d be a little nicer. Or maybe not. Apparently, we’ve got to wait ‘til next week to find out.
Catch the next episode of Snooki & JWOWW on Thursday, July 19 on MTV.
Read more about Snooki’s pregnancy.
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