As we prepare for the final season of Jersey Shore (Season 6 premieres October 4), it’s time to remember why we fell in love with these wild and crazy macaroni rascals to begin with. Starting, of course, with the gems that rolled off their tongues.
The Situation is one of the most-quoted cast members, and we came up with our 15 favorites below.
“Lock up your daughters, handcuff your wives. The Situation is taking over the Italian nation.” (Season 4, Episode 1)
And once they’re in handcuffs, send me your address, yo.
“You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to someone who looks like Rambo pretty much with his shirt off?” (Season 1, Episodes 1-2)
You can say, “Please put your shirt back on,” for starters.
“When you go into battle, you need to have some friends with you so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you, you know, one of your buddy takes it first.” (Season 1, Episode 4)
Cue Dionne Warwick: “That’s what friends are for...”
“Down here at the Shore, one minute you got three girls in the jacuzzi. Next minute, somebody's in jail and you have to bail them out." (Season 1, Episode 9)
And the next minute, you wake up and realize you’re not in a heist movie.
“I got the fresh-to-death kicks on. I got some jeans on. And I got the shirt, but I ain't wearing the shirt when I go out. This is the shirt before the shirt.” (Season 2, Episode 2)
Then there’s the shirt after the shirt, which is basically just a thick layer of Axe Body Spray.
“At one particular point, I remember, I was in the jacuzzi and I finally put some water on my face, and I was like ‘AH! We got grenades, man.’ And I'm looking at Pauly like, ‘Do you know we are in the midst of grenades right now? Do you know we are at the zoo?’" (Season 2, Episode 4)
Ah, the magical healing powers of jacuzzi water.
"I'm not ready to perform right now, I'm like a Ferrari, I'm high maintenance." (Season 2, Episode 6)
"José's taken Angelina on a number of dates, buying her a Fossil watch — I don't know how much it was, $39.99, $49.99 — the man should be smashed." (Season 2, Episode 7)
In another life, The Situation could have been a Fossil store clerk.
“It's definitely a different look out here in Miami. There's a lot of people out here in shape. So you need to be on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA. Say that five times.” (Season 2, Episode 4)
We can’t without laughing.
To Angelina: “Shut your mouth, you dirty little hamster.” (Season 2, Episode 9)
The hamster community took great offense.
"Don't come over to someone's house at f***ing 5 a.m. and expect to just watch them play checkers." (Season 2, Episode 12)
I mean, really. Everyone knows that shuffleboard begins on the veranda at 5 a.m.
“Back in the day, they had the prophecy: That one day there would be a pimp of all pimps, and his name would be The Situation.” (Season 2, Episode 11)
We’ve read that book. Also written by that author? Everyone Loves Poop.
To Sammi: "You know what? You're excluded from dinner, then. You're excluded from Surf-and-Turf Night. You're excluded from Ravioli Night. You're excluded from Chicken-Cutlet Night." (Season 1, Episode 5)
But don’t worry, you can stop by on Tex-Mex Night. Deena’s cooking.
“It just so happens that Deena defies the laws of intelligence. I never thought someone would make Snooki look like a rocket scientist.” (Season 3, Episode 12)
Or someone who would make Snooki look like the sober one.
“This is Hurricane Situation and it’s heading straight for Snooki Island.” (Season 5, Episode 1)
Hurricane Situation just has to make a pit stop at Grenade Beach before dropping off its laundry at Pauly’s Place. But then, girl, straight for you.
Jersey Shore Season 6 will premiere on Thursday, October 4 at 10 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.
Molly Friedman is an editor at Wetpaint Entertainment. Follow her on Twitter @MollyFriedman.
Jersey Shore airs Thursdays at 10 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.
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