5. Maybe Snooki and Vinny just aren't a good match (Episode 2.6)
Snooki:
It's like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.

4. Yep, that's the main difference (Episode 2.5)
Snooki:
They're not attracted to vagina, they're attracted to b****, okay?

3. Four whole syllables! Atta, girl! (Episode 2.5)
Snooki:
Word of the day: Sympathetic. That's a big word.

2. Snooki, master of deception (Episode 2.4)
Snooki :
(while writing her super-secret letter to Sammi) We say "t***," not "breasts," so she probably won't even know it was us.

1. Now that's sound logic (Episode 2.4)
Snooki:
Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to deal with women, and I feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country.
How do you honor someone who has brought you so, so much joy? How do you show someone important to you how you feel? That’s the dilemma we’ve been facing lately when thinking about Snooki. Should we send her a singing telegram? Maybe a stripper-gram? A singing stripper-gram? All viable options. But instead, we have decided to honor her the only we way know how: with a list of hilarious quotes. Here's to you, Snooks.

10. People get paid for that? (Episode 2.1)
Snooki, on the southern guy:
Obviously he, like, f*cks his sister for a living.

9. Not worth the risk (Episode 2.4)
Snooki:
White's in in Miami, isn't it? But what if you get your period? It's ruined.

8. Thank God it's so strong (Episode 2.9)
Snooki: I thought I broke my vagina bone.

7. We will definitely keep that in mind. (Episode 2.10)
Snooki: If you want to make out with me, just ask! I will say yes.

6. We're predicting this will now become a worldwide trend (Episode 2.7)
Snooki:
If it's, like, a smush, you gotta put lotion on your butt.