Credit: Splash News Photo: The Situation's Book Signing

It looks like we're one step closer to being able to major in Anthropology with an emphasis in Jersey Shore. One University of Chicago student is petitioning that Jersey Shore get an academic makeover by making it the topic of study for a one-day academic conference. Events would include papers, presentations, and debates from students, academics, and other field experts to unearth the great social implications of our beloved macaroni rascals and how they swept the nation and stole our hearts.

Student David Showalter writes in his petition, "The conference will be the first of its kind, and should be of interest to scholars in the fields of media and cultural studies, sociology, anthropology, race, ethnicity, and gender studies, and the social sciences more generally." He proposed the following presentations for study:

-What, exactly, is the Guido?
This should include one of those evolutionary progressions of man from monkey to human to juicehead.

-Gender roles, gender performance, and normativity, or, "Why do the guys cook and the girls fight?"
Seriously.

-Reality TV as documentary/laboratory/fieldwork.
This just puts a funny image in our heads of all the macaroni rascals as mice.

-The construction, localization, and performance of ethnicity, or "I'm not white, I'm tan."
Or: The Snooki Effect.

-Temporality, narrative, and the duplicated self of the reality TV star.
A study of OMG, how meta The Situation's straight-to-the-camera reaction shots are!

-Celebrity and the illusion of "reality."
A study of how Angelina isn't famous enough to be proposed to on the red carpet and her subsequent delusions of grandeur.

-GTL as a practice of the self and way of life.
This should include field trips to the gym, tanning salons, and laundromats for field research.

-Shore house politics: tribalism, ostracism, and violence.
Tribe #1: The Anti-Angelina Tribe.

Parody, self-referentiality, and intertextuality in the later seasons of Jersey Shore.
Or: How Many Times Will We Have To Hear About Vinny's Watermelon Penis?

Fetish and metonymy, or, The Situation as man/abdominals.
He prefers the phrase "mandominals."

-Familial metaphors, relations, and imagery.
The greater meaning behind a dish of chicken parm on the Sunday Dinner table.

    -Textual/characterological analysis of Snooki's novel, A Shore Thing
    Why didn't we ever get to write this book report?!

    We love it. Sign us up. More importantly, sign the cast up. We think it'll do them some good.

    Source: Gawker