A brand new episode of Jersey Shore (Season 5, Episode 4: “Free Vinny”) is on tonight, and it’s finally party time. After The Situation returns from his brief dip outside the house (or just away from the cameras), all the roommates decide it’s time to throw an official birthday party for him and Pauly D. Here’s what to expect on tonight’s show.
Bunny Smush Orgy
As we saw in this sneak peek, Deena Nicole and Snooki cleverly go to the last place anyone would think of for party supplies: the Party Store. They wear matching black bike shorts, matching purple t-shirts, and matching giant rabbit heads. Obviously the first thing that comes to both of their meatball minds is bunny sex, which they mime for all the customers to see, while wearing their bunny heads. Deena, because she is a die-hard romantic at heart, suggests they kiss like bunnies, so they do. A big cartoon light bulb appears next to Snooki’s pouf, and she exclaims, “I kind of want this!” Off they go, two bunnies in love.
Sammi Throws Down
In another sneak peek, we get a preview of what to expect from the big Sammi Sweetheart fight that was teased in last week’s promo. As far as we can tell, a complete stranger pulls on Sammi’s weave and down they go, scrambling around on the club floor grabbing at whatever they can, until a bouncer manages to remove Sam from her enemy. We can’t wait to see more.
Striptease (Minus Demi Moore)
For the big shebang, Team Meatball will attempt to hire some help. Naked help. Honestly, we have no idea if these two can successfully complete a task like this, especially together (two meatball minds are not exactly better than one). Hopefully the stripper thing will be a bust, and we’ll get to see a very drunk Deena performing her legendary No Underwears Foxtrot, where she gets wastey-pants, removes said pants, and drool-vomits on Pauly D’s head.
Danny Plays Bad Cop
Shore Store owner and pretend-landlord Danny will come sniffing around the house, making a big fuss about how he needs to replace Vinny with another roommate. Riiight. He’ll just hop on Craig’s List, list an available room in a totally normal beach house, advertise free t-shirts all summer, and start interviewing applicants.
Field Trip to Staten Island
Yes, people actually live there! One such person is Vinny, so the remaining 7 smushers hop in the car wearing Team Vinny t-shirts, and bum rush the poor kid in his one and only bastion of privacy and serenity. So sorry that being around us and in our house and on camera made you anxious bro, so, you know, here we are, and here are the cameras, and we’re kidnapping you against your will back to the house of horrors! Yay.
Pauly D Walks the Walk
Deena and Snooks want to learn how to “walk hard.” So, because Pauly is 50 Cent’s new bestie, they ask him for help. Long story short: they mostly just fall hard.
Tune in tonight, January 26 at 10pm ET/PT on MTV.
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