Credit: Prahl/Macca/Sinky/Splash News Photo: The Boys Head to Work at the Pizzeria in Florence on May 18, 2011

Some people read tea leaves, some read palms or cards, but we like to make anagrams out of the Jersey Shore cast members’ names to see what they reveal about their true identities. (An anagram is "a type of word play in which a word or phrase is formed by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase." For example, the letters in "anagram" can be used to create "nag a ram.") We popped their names into an anagram generator and this is what we found:

Sammi Giancola — Moan is magical.
She is quite the whiner. But the magical part? Let’s try again.

Sammi “Sweetheart” — I am sweetest harm.
That’s more like it.

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro — Agonize not, mirror.
This one is pretty profound. You have to love yourself, Ronnie!

Deena Cortese — Desecrate one.
Desecrate one what? We need to know! She already wore this apron; did she spray paint graffiti on the statue of David or something?

Jenni “JWOWW” Farley — Joy! Jaw flew. Winner!
If you get in a fight with JWOWW, expect some blood and expect to lose.

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi — Zoo coins, lionlike zip.
This one is pretty incoherent. Just like Snooki!

Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino — Unemotional, intricate horsesh*t.
Wow, anagrams don’t lie. (See picture above.)

Pauly Delvecchio — Loudly, cheap vice.
We think the vice referred to here is “lust.”

Vinny Guadagnino — Annoying, avid gun.
Is this another one of Snooki’s euphemisms for his watermelon?

Angelina “The Staten Island Dump” Pivarnick — Death-dealing, mutant plainness. Rack in VIP.
Not sure about that last part, but we think it involves a future in stripping.

That was fun. Now, will the anagrams answer our questions? Things have been up in the air since we found out the cast was heading to Italy for Season 4, and we need to get to the bottom of the most important mysteries.

Are Sammi and Ronnie back together? — Demonic, heartbreaker, antagonism.
Exactly. We’re guessing that means they’re busy torturing each other in Florence.

Should The Situation’s dad get his own reality show? — Outlast distinguished hotheads now or is wealthy.
That one is pretty clear: no.

Do Italians secretly love Jersey? — Joylessly delicate reservation.
Again, this one seems like an empathic no.

Is Angelina Pivarnick really pregnant? — A crankier, pleasing villainy. Pen grant.  
Not sure what the pen grant part is about (maybe she’s going back to school?), but the “villainy” part seems to point to a fake pregnancy.

Source: Sternest Meanings