Allow us to catch you up: The Sitch finds himself a fine lady in the club one night. The term “grenade” was coined to describe everything this girl is not. She’s so hot, in fact, that Mike, in the heat of his excitement, tries to smush her in the club bathroom. Security quickly puts the kibosh on that plan, enforcing a strict “one person in the bathroom at a time” rule (thank goodness the Jersey Shore house doesn’t have one of those). Somehow, between the bathroom interruption and the cab ride home, Mike loses his biddy. We know, it’s like a real-life Cinderella story. The next morning, mystery girl tapes her name and number to the gate of the Shore house. In lieu of a glass slipper, she leaves a pair of underwear on the stoop. Just kidding. Possible (probable), though.
The Situation calls her soon after, and she not only hits the clubs with the Shore crew, she comes over beforehand to pregame, handpicks a pair of The Situation’s pajamas to wear when they get home that night, threatens to fight a girl in the club who moves in on her man, and is unafraid to binge on Nutella with Vinny after the club. Cut to The Smush Room: Homegirl is so loud, the Shore kids — who are hanging out in the kitchen — can hear everything that’s going on. And just to prove she can play with the boys, she chows down on an egg sandwich with MVP the next morning. Yes, it’s shocking: The Situation doesn’t shovel her into a cab as soon as he’s done with her.
Cue the crapstorm of reality fame. Basically, rumors then surfaced that The Canadian Model, née Samantha, was paid $50,000 to let MTV air the audio of what went down in The Smush Room. She denied these rumors, but quickly set up Twitter and Facebook pages under the name “Samantha The Canadian Model,” which show off her portfolio, clips of her on Jersey Shore, and a tweet back-and-forth with The Situation in which she reveals she’s flying to LA to watch him on DWTS (um... stalker?). Evidently, this girl has “fans” (who apparently have some strange running joke that she’s of Indian descent, because she keeps insisting all over Facebook that she’s not Indian, you guys), and she claims that Mike is really one of the sweetest — and most well-endowed — guys she’s ever met.
Okay, it’s not just us. This is weird, right? Sure, the Jersey Shore gang has extended its 15 minutes of fame by capitalizing on its breakout success, but this seems a little ridiculous. This girl is basically making a reality star out of herself based on her noisy bedroom antics and the consumption of a breakfast sandwich. What do you think? Is she a genius, a stalker, certifiably insane, or just your average famewhore? Sound off in the comments section below!