The best moment of Jersey Shore Season 4, Episode 5 was the amazing visual of The Situation knocking himself out against a wall, like the genius he is. But that doesn't mean the episode wasn't filled with our weekly dose of brilliant observations from the Jersey Shore cast on life, the universe, and, most importantly, how much everyone hates SamRon. Check out our favorite quotes from the episode:
10. Ronnie: "Mike's home, still dealing with his issues and trying to find a way to apologize to the wall, I guess."
Shouldn't the wall be apologizing to Sitch? It did put him in the hospital.
9. Snooki: "I just don't wanna think, I just wanna be myself."
Snooki should get this as a tattoo, since it sums up her entire life story.
8. Vinny on SamRon's period of happiness in Italy: "That was five minutes."
And that's still five minutes too long.
7. Ronnie, on Mike: "Much as I hate the the kid and I can't stand him — I think he's a sneaky [bleeped] — it's just like, he did get hurt. I'm not that mean of a person."
Yep, we're really feeling the love.
6. Mike: "The doctor's prognosis was a light concussion also combined with a neck sprain as well. That's not good because for the next couple of day, I can't GTL."
Potentially slipping into a coma in your sleep, however, is completely fine.
5. Pauly D: “What comes to mind when I think about Ronnie and Sam is me throwing up because I can’t stand it anymore.”
We're not the only ones? The constant break-up, make-up makes us dizzy, and a little queasy.
4. Vinny: "If it wasn't f*ucked up, it wouldn't be our house."
Quoted for truth.
3. Ronnie: "Instead of bringing home a grenade girl to get [Sammi] mad and start another fight, let me be an adult, and show her you're the a**hole, and I'm not the a**hole anymore."
Does Ronnie understand what "adult" actually means?
2. Ronnie: "You don't deserve me and you don't deserve these roses."
Harsher words have never been spoken.
1. Pauly D: "I think Mike tried to commit suicide by hitting his head against the wall because he was sick of dealing with the Ron and Sam bullsh*t.”
This makes as much sense as any other explanation we've heard.