Credit: Twitter

You booze, you lose! Sorry, Victoria Lima. But congratulations to Juan Pablo Galavis — and all Bachelor viewers — for nipping that particular drama in the bud before it became a Tierrable mess.

Drunk Vic was Season 18, Week 2’s resident drama girl, which was actually good news for Lucy Aragon, since it overshadowed the “free spirit’s” attempt to spend the entire episode naked.

JPG’s new People blog delves into the not-so-hot things he witnessed himself — like his unexpected date with the bathroom stall — and stuff he learned when watching the show with the rest of us.

“Ay, Lucy!” JPG wrote “I had no idea Lucy was topless so much.” (How could he not know?!) “I don't love that she's like that, but at the end of the day, she's just a happy camper. That is who she is, and she's not going to change.” He added that, “inappropriate behavior” aside, Lucy did help Elise Mosca feel more comfortable by trading costumes in that weird dog shoot, and JPG respected that kindness. “I liked that, but please, Lucy: Keep your top on.” Too little too late, buddy. Besides, if she liked keeping her top on, she probably wouldn’t have been so keen to trade costumes.

Credit: Todd Wawrychuk/ABC Television Group © 2013 Disney Photo: Victoria Lima, Chantel Forrest, and Juan Pablo Pose For a Photoshoot in The Bachelor Season 18, Week 2

JPG shared a whole list of dos and don’ts before the season started, and being naked was not on the list; being a sloppy drunk, however, was listed as a key deal breaker. Guess Victoria wasn’t given that memo. Then again, if she had behaved, we would’ve missed out on her epic quotes. (Tip: It’s Heimlich, not hymen.)

Here’s Juan Pabs’ take on her drama: “I was having a really great conversation with Nikki [Ferrell] when Victoria came around the corner and looked and sounded drunk. Before going on this adventure, that was one of the things I wished wouldn't happen. I do not like girls who get sloppy drunk. That's a big turnoff for me because I have a daughter and need Camila to always be around role models.”

Juan Pabs said he wanted to give Victoria the benefit of the doubt, so he went to talk to her… once he was done staring into Nikki’s beautiful eyes, which was probably hours later. “From the little I saw in the bathroom, she was not doing well at all,” JPG said, in a nice bit of understatement. “I didn't see all the fireworks with Victoria after that, but wow. I don't even know what to say. Just wow.” He was grateful that compassion queen Renee Oteri jumped in to take care of Victoria. “Little things like that tell me a lot about someone like Renee and make me like her even more. She is a great mom.”

We definitely want to give Renee’s ownage a round of applause. She is the house mother/resident therapist/moral compass of the crew, and they’re lucky to have her. Victoria and Lucy don’t seem like stepmother material, but they may be ready to be adopted by Renee. Which, to be honest, we’d like to get in line for ourselves…

Do you approve of how Juan Pablo dealt with the Victoria situation, and his take on drunk and topless girlfriends in general? What do you think he sees in Lucy? Is she just there for drama?

Source: People