Credit: Josephine Santos, PacificCoastNews.com Photo: Kim Brings Bodyguard Shengo Deane to Dinner at Katsuya With Her Family on June 2, 2010
Wow. It’s hard to type when you’re wiping away tears. But we’ll give it a shot!

Shengo, the world’s perfect man, has to go back to Australia because his visa is about to expire. He tells Kim on a bowling date with Kourtney and Scott — the perfect place to break such heavy news! Kim is understandably upset, as she was surprised to have such strong feelings for Shengo. Scott (who keeps calling the guy “Shango”) has a brilliant suggestion — the two should get married! Shengo and Kim head to the Empire State Building — a la Sleepless in Seattle — and she tells him Scott’s idea. He takes it pretty literally, and asks her to marry him. And he looks really sad and slightly humiliated when she tells him that she wants to get married at the right time for the right reasons. Aw! We’d marry you, Shengo! (But honestly, do you have to wear the same black shirt on every date? Sorry, but … um ... laundry time?)

It seemed for a while that the Shengo storyline was completely orchestrated by the producers of the show, but judging from Kim’s tears the morning of his departure, and his tears, it’s the real deal. Unless Kim and Shengo are really great actors — in which case they could give Black Swan a run for its money at the Oscars this Sunday. (When Kim cries and all of her make-up slides off her face, by the way, did anyone else notice how much she looks like Kourtney?)
Credit: via facebook Photo: Kim Kardashian and Shengo Deane: Empire Building Shot 1
This episode was significantly less of a snoozer than Episode 4. Because Kim actually smiled a few times. Or maybe because the word “penis” was uttered every other second. Or is any episode with Shengo in it automatically a great episode?

In other KKTNY news: Scott and Kourtney are en fuego when it comes to their sex life — they’re doin’ it just about everywhere they can — including public bathrooms and the gym. Kim and Shengo overhear the two goin’ at it — especially Kourtney’s jubliant coital wails — and Kourtney is humiliated. The humiliation continues when a woman catches them in the restroom in a compromising position. Then, Kourt tells Scott that they’re going to have to act more like responsible adults and limit their sexual creativity to the bedroom — and the bathroom — even over the toilet! (Um, gross!) Scott says all will be well and good, just as soon as he invests in a muzzle for his loud sex-crazed girlfriend.

In the meantime, the mystery of missing Mason continues. Joyce, Kim’s friend and make-up artist, is “holding down the fort” while Scott and Kourt go bowling with Kim and Shengo. That’s code for “babysitting Mason," but no one can say that because we’re supposed to forget Mason’s even around. (And it’s pretty easy to — but for the occasional toy strewn on the floor.)

Footnote: We can’t help but wonder what Kim’s current squeeze Kris Humphries is thinking after watching this show. Because it’s not like Kim and Shengo broke up because they didn’t like each other; they separated because he was leaving. So somewhere, in a land Down Under, lurks a man who likely still carries the torch for Kim — and for whom Kim likely still carries a torch. They’re like a modern-day Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch. Maybe a modern-day Betty and Barney Rubble. And... they are a mere 24-hour plane ride away. Chew on that, Kris!

So, who do you like better, anyway? Who’s better for Kim? Shengo or Kris Humphries? Sound off in the comments section below!