Credit: WENN Photo: Kris Jenner, Kourtney Kardashian, and Joyce Bonelli Shop Till They Drop on March 22, 2011

In this week’s episode, Kourtney lands as part on One Life to Live (can you say “Golden Globe”?); Scott works it at a major red carpet event; Kris Jenner gets mad at Kim; and Kim rides the subway for the first time. In other words, drama drama drama! We were hard pressed to pick just 10 best quotes from the show. But we did it, and here they are — the most juicy lines from Episode 9!


10. Slore.

Kourtney: Now I feel like I could go kiss everyone and I’d be fine.


9. Since when?

Kim (to Kris): Family is more important than money.


8. Or something like that.

Scott (to Kourt and Kim, who are rehearsing): It’s like I’m watching Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise!


7. Don’t get too excited, Kim.

Kourtney: Woo! The subway!
Kim: I’d rather eat Subway.


6. What not to say to strangers on the subway in New York City.

Kim: Have you ever been robbed? Have you ever robbed anyone?


5. Let them eat cake.

Kourtney (to Kim, as they are eating a giant cake): We are some big lard asses.


4. How does she spell relief?

Kourt: I just want some fried food.


3. What else is new?

Scott (to Kourt): Bring be over some miso soup because me so horny!


2. Someone’s got quite an imagination!

Scott (to Kourt): Imagine if you woke up and I had two pieces of bread surrounding my penis and I said, ‘good morning!’


1. You’re hired!

Kourtney (to Kim, mimicking a bad soap opera actor): I slept with your husband and he sucked in the sack. In fact, his penis was so small that I chopped it off and shoved it up my a** and I don’t even feel a thing.