In Khloe & Lamar Season 2, Episode 12, Khloe Kardashian made it perfectly clear that she was not interested in taking a DNA test, thank you very much, but in tonight’s Season 7 premiere of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the subject just would not die. Khloe’s been through about this before, but does she stick to her guns, or does she cave to Kris Jenner’s relentless badgering? We’ll find out!
The episode begins at the Jenner mansion, with Khloe visiting the fam from Texas. Kourtney’s giving everyone the scoop about what pregnancy number two is doing to her body, with all the nitty gritty details from widening hips to underwear alignment. Khloe tries to locate Bruce, but he’s nowhere to be found. Scott Disick chimes in to share the lovely detail that he and Kourtney have been, shall we say, inactive in the bedroom. Baby Mason then reaches up and shuts off the lights. Looks like he’s trying to give Daddy a hand with their little problem, no?
When everyone’s said goodnight, Kris goes upstairs to find Bruce lounged out on the bathroom couch (yes, bathroom couch). She says she didn’t know where he was, but he gets peeved that she didn’t check the whole house for him and that he’s now missed dinner. “I’ll go where I’m wanted… with the dogs,” he snaps. Uh oh!
While she’s got an actual issue on her plate with Bruce, all Kris can think about is Khloe and the DNA test situation. She thinks that “even though Khloe puts on a good face” about the situation, “deep down inside it really does hurt her.”
Ya know, Kris may be the thickest-skulled one of ‘em all because even after she calls Khloe and she tells her point blank, “I don’t need an answer — get over yourself,” Kris is still convinced she absolutely does need that answer. So, she proceeds to get a DNA specialist on the horn, who tells her that she’ll need to swab three of Khloe’s full siblings’ cheeks to get good results. So, that means Kourtney, Kim, and Rob will all need to agree to this mess. Oh, and Khloe too.
Back at the house, Bruce is zoned out while Kendall and Kylie mess around next to him. He asks them to cut it out so he can watch the news, but they pretty much just ignore him and keep playing. He gives up and takes off to another room to watch TV. “Lately, it’s typical for me to be forgotten in this family,” he says. “Everybody’s running around doing their own thing. What does a guy gotta do to get a little respect around here?” Jeez, Bruce. It’s not like you’re some Olympic gold medalist anything… Oh wait.
Kourtney’s out hunting for new store locations for DASH because the lease is coming up. She’s tried to get Kim involved, but she had a dentist appointment and couldn’t make it. Kourtney’s gotta be the cutest pregnant lady in Beverly Hills right now, but she’s all business.
Kris calls a family meeting to deal with the “torture” of this Khloe DNA business. Even Kendall and Kylie think she’s going a little overboard, but Kris insists she needs Kim and Kourtney to participate in the test for it to work. Kim’s all in because she is also convinced Khloe needs the results, but Kourtney’s not so sure. She ultimately agrees to do the test but says that Kris will need to tell Kourtney what’s going on herself. Surprisingly, it’s Bruce who’s not in favor of the whole ordeal. “You’re just bending to the tabloids, honey,” he says with his ignored sage wisdom.
Next up for the testing needs is Rob, who’s house hunting at the moment. He’s got big plans to skip off to Europe and absorb the fashion scene before he launches his big sock company, but he wants to own a home first. Kris pays the requisite amount of home-related lip service before jumping into the matter she really cares about — getting his DNA. He thinks it’s “ridiculous” but goes along with it once he realizes she’s serious.
Back at the house, Bruce is all alone when Khloe gives him a call. He tells her he’s not feeling very welcome in his own home, so Khloe offers up her unoccupied house to him whenever he needs to get away. Bruce is definitely not opposed to the idea. This could get interesting…
Wife of the year Kris, meanwhile, is showing off the new offices to Kim and Kourtney when Kourtney gets an email about the property she’s visited for DASH. Kim gets on her case for not involving her, but Kourtney points out that she’s not been involved in much at all for a while, so why would she bother. Kim thinks Kourtney’s trying to kick her out of the business, so she offers to get a realtor and “set it all up,” but Kourtney bluntly explains that she’s already got a realtor and that it is already all set up. Oh, and no, she wouldn’t have bothered filling her in at all if she wasn’t present when the email came in. Snap!
Back at the house, Bruce is snacking on some chips upstairs when Kris storms in and says he’s making a mess on her brand new couch. When she snatches up not only his chips but his laptop and his drink, he flips and tells her off. Later, he starts packing a suitcase. He’ll take Khloe up on that offer of her. When he arrives to a warm welcome from Khloe’s staff, his face lights up. There are even fresh pineapple slices ready for him! Yep, this’ll work. Better yet, Scott gives him a ring and decides to come by and see what Bruce without the family is like.
When Scott shows up, Bruce is happy as a clam eating his chips on the couch as he darn well pleases. Bruce tells Scott, “This is an experiment. See if anybody misses me.” Scott points out that his daughters Kendall and Kylie will, but Bruce says that even the littlest ones have their own business to attend to these days. He tells Scott that there’s just no one else in the world who’d put up with Kris but him, and Scott points out that even Bruce doesn’t share a bed with her. But that’s not rude to say because he doesn’t sleep with Kourtney either. They commiserate by lounging on Khloe’s couch.
At Kim’s insistence, Kourtney takes her to see the locations she’s scouted for the new Dash store. Kim doesn’t like any of them though. Kourtney grows impatient very quickly and tells her that “to come in this late in the game when [she’s] been looking is like pointless.” You said it, Kourtney!
Bruce and Scott, still fiddling around at the house, decide to further the experiment a bit, and Scott calls the Jenner house looking for Bruce. Kris is polite enough about it, but doesn’t make too much of an effort to find him. She certainly doesn’t know he’s gone. “For once, you’re in a weirder place than I am. It’s pretty nice,” Scott tells Bruce. Kinda diggin’ the bromance these two are forming.
Kourtney’s off shopping for inventory for Dash when Kris comes in and demands that Kim be more involved in the store’s functions. She tells Kourtney she’s being too much of a control freak. Um. Pot meet kettle. Kourtney finally gives in and agrees to try and loop Kim back in.
Bruce finally returns home, and when Kris finds him upstairs watching TV, World War K erupts. “I left for two days, and you didn’t call. Nobody called,” he tells her. Kris laughs that she thought he was just downstairs somewhere. But he’s not laughing. “Everybody shows me absolutely no respect whatsoever,” Bruce continues. “Either it’s going to change, or I’m the hell out of here.” Wowza! Kris fires back that she’s been busy and that she can understand a little bit about where he’s coming from but that if he really wants things to improve, he’ll have to make an effort to act like he cares what’s going on in his own house.
Khloe flies in at Kourtney’s request to check out the new spot for DASH and meets Kim and Kourt at the location. Kourtney might not mean anything by it, but she’s quick to point out that Nicole Richie was voted to wear Khloe’s sweater better than she was. They say Khloe takes things in stride, and this moment proves how true that really is. Anyway, the three all get a tutorial on what the store will look like when it’s ready, and they do some clappy-dance together. Oh, and Kim makes fun of Kourtney’s RuPaul-esque tie, so the insults are evened out. Happy times again!
The family gets together for dinner (sans Khloe, at first) and Kourtney spills the good news. “We found out today… We’re having a girl!” she squeals. She says she’s excited that Mason won’t have to be competitive with a little brother.
Despite the good, happy turn of events for the day, Kris decides it’s time to bring up the Khloe DNA test issue again. Yep. Bruce tells her once again that it’s not a good idea to keep this issue going, but she ignores him and tells the girls she’ll need their help convincing Khloe to participate. Kourtney tells her, “I’m on Team Khloe, so whatever Khloe is comfortable with.” Kris tells her that she won’t be accepting no for an answer. Oh, mother.
So, when Khloe shows up for a warm family dinner and hears the news that her family’s adding another girl (which she already knew), she’s happy… until Mom decides to spring the news that they’ve “all agreed” to take the DNA test. Well, Khloe hasn’t agreed, and she’s sticking to her guns. She’s over it, and when the doctor shows up to take the sample, she politely but forcefully sends him away. Kris says she’s tired of the tabloids picking on Khloe about her paternity situation, and Khloe asks her whether she thinks she should get liposuction since all the tabloids call her fat, too? That shuts her up... briefly.
Kim tries to say something, and Khloe snaps at her saying, “I’m not on your case about a lot of s**t that I should be.” She then explains that the whole testing concept is not actually about Khloe’s peace of mind at all. It’s all about Mom. Exactamundo!
The next day, Kim and Kris meet up for lunch and discuss — you guessed it — the same tired thing. Finally, Kim’s starting to see Khloe’s perspective on the whole deal and tells Kris that she should own up to wanting the test done for her own self-satisfaction rather than making it seem as though she’s only concerned about Khloe’s comfort.
Bruce comes in and finds Kendall and Kylie on their cell phones again, so rather than walking away, he snatches them up and rallies up the family for a frozen yogurt run. Over their icy treats (and sans the technological interference), Kylie owns up to doing poorly in science. She wants to have a job and go to school but she’s falling behind in that class. Bruce asks her what he can do to help, and she says she needs a tutor. Done and done. Girls get their cell phones back, and the family’s all had a nice little chat. He’s happier after that.
Khloe’s back at her and Lamar’s place when Kris shows up. She politely attempts to steer the conversation to something of structure, like shower heads, but Kris doesn’t linger too long on that subject before she gets back to her same old, same old. This time she’s taking a different approach though. She gives Khloe a letter rather than using her voice and explains that she better respect her mother enough to read her letter. Khloe of course gives in and finds that it actually contains a touching little story about the day she was born.
Khloe goes downstairs and finds Kris playing a game of pool. She gives her a sincere hug and says, “I appreciate your letter and it means a lot to me, but you have to respect me too. Let’s just let bygones be bygones. I’m an Odom anyway. I’m not a Kardashian anymore. So let’s move on.” Khloe for the win! Kris has no choice but to back off… for the time being, at least.
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