Credit: Splash News

Rob Kardashian and Kris Jenner are in the house, ya’ll! Wanna know how the (other) Kardashians do Dallas? Read on for our recap of Khloe & Lamar!

The episode starts in Khloe and Lamar’s kitchen. Our adorable lovebirds are engaged in some usual kitchen conversation about hairy nipples (because that’s normal), when Lamar breaks some big news: Baby bro Rob is en route to the Dallas. Lamar proceeds to engage in the happy dance, and as awkward as it may be to see Lam Lam booty pop, we’re just glad he’s finally smiling. ‘Bout time.

Anyway, Rob shows up in the Lone Star state ready and rarin’ to go. After giving his sister and brother-in-law a warm welcome (by, you know, jumping into their bed), it’s go time. Khloe and Rob hit up a hot spot for lunch, but their midday meal is interrupted by a call from their loving (and often times, annoying) mother, Kris. This time, Kris skips the platitudes and goes right for the heart. She’s on a mission to nab the phone number of Mark Cuban — owner of the Dallas Mavericks. We know Dallas gave Khomar a pretty amazing welcome, but Khloe doesn’t want her mom milking their fame. “Do other teammates’ mothers ask Mark Cuban for favors? No. And my mom will not be the exception,” she says. “What a whore bag.” Harsh, but understandable.

Later, Lamar, Rob, and Khloe’s dinner is a total bromance fest. As if Rob jumping into Khlomar’s bed to say hello wasn’t awkward enough, Rob also reveals he had a wet dream about his NBA playin’ bro-in-law, right before he asks him for a kiss. Um, this is all a joke right? Because if not, this bromance has totally crossed the line from cute to straight up creepy. Seriously, we don’t know whether to smile and laugh, or avert our eyes in shame. Either way, the dynamic (and love) between these three former housemates (you may recall Khloe, Lamar, and Rob all shacked up in K&L Season 1) is so apparent that Khloe and Lamar have secretly cooked up a plan to wrangle Rob into staying in Texas.

Although Rob confesses he was cool sharing space with Khlomar (and, um, eating all their food) before, he’s turning 25 now and doesn’t want to be a freeloader anymore. Or maybe that’s just a ploy for the cameras. Whatevs. However, Khloe has slightly different plans for her suddenly independent baby bro. “Rob has to stay. I’m just going to force him,” she says.

So, the next day Operation: Keep Rob in Dallas commences. Khloe takes her bro on a grand tour of Dallas, showing him all the most happenin’ hot spots. Like, you know, the local Cracker Barrel and petting zoo. Fun as petting lambs might be, Khloe’s little tourist attractions aren’t exactly convincing Rob to give up his hotshot lifestyle in L.A. Plus, isn’t it a teensy bit selfish of Khloe to even ask Rob to give up his luxury sock empire so soon?

Credit: Winslow andPrahl/Splash News

And then — it’s Kris Jenner time. In usual Mama J fashion, the Kardashian matriarch has a super luxe hotel spot in Dallas. But she did, of course, have to pull a few strings to get there. You know, a few strings that belong to none other than Mavs owner Mark Cuban. Yup, looks like Mama J went behind Khloe’s back and contacted Mark anyway. She, however, has a slightly different story: “I got to Dallas and the red carpet was rolled out. I can’t help it,” Kris jokes. Oh, boy. We have a feeling this is one joke Khloe won’t find amusing.

Mama J has more than just one trick up her sleeve this trip! After lunch, Kris blindfolds Khloe and tells her she has a surprise. What’s all the hullabaloo? Kim and Kourtney are in Dallas, too! In fact, they even flew in on a private jet for the evening’s Mavericks game. But as happy as Khloe is to see her sisters, she’s not thrilled when she realizes the luxe airliner that dropped them off probably belongs to Mark Cuban. And it gets worse: The entire Kardashian fam ends up taking over Cuban’s private box that night at the Mavs game, all without Khloe’s knowledge. Uh-oh. Mama J’s done it again.

The next day, Khloe’s really pissed at her mom, but she’s trying to hide it the best she can. As the Momager walks around complimenting Khloe’s posh pad, the feisty brunette snaps back with one word answers. But then something beautiful happens: Mama J bestows some motherly advice on her son-in-law Lamar, and Khloe overhears the sweet convo, and admits to the camera her mom does always seem to know what to say. See! Even Kris Jenner has redeeming qualities!

At dinner that night, Khloe’s still peeved at her mom about the whole box thing, mostly because she’s scared Lamar will feel used. Luckily, Khloe doesn’t have to broach the topic with her hubby because Lamar already knows. And he’s not mad at all. In fact, he totally gives Kris props for scoring the sweet seats. (He actually says “Work it girl,” but, details!) We swear we can see Khloe’s heart melt right before our eyes. Aww!

And things only get better for Khloe. Right before the episode ends, Rob pretends to jet set back to L.A., but shows up later and announces that he’s decided to stay. The old trio’s back — and we can’t wait to see the Texas-style shenans they get into next week!

 

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