The Season 2 Kourtney & Kim Take New York finale, part deux, starts right where last week’s left off: Kim Kardashian dejectedly telling her sister Kourtney that after two short months of being Kris Humphries’ wife, she doesn’t want to be married anymore.
Okay, so Kim’s breaking down, but it’s not all sadness and grief in the Big Apple. In fact, almost-brother-in-law Scott is all about building things up! Scott’s idea to open a Japanese restaurant in Midtown is finally coming to fruition. Sure, the building he’s chosen looks a little rugged, but Scott’s got some big, big dreams for this place. We wish him all the best and just hope this works out better than this other short-lived fantasies like, you know, becoming a race car driver. Kourtney seems to share our sentiment: According to Kourt, Scott always has his fingers in a lot of pots. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” she tells Scott.
So, as fate would have it, Scott’s restaurant is heating up right as the foursome’s New York stint is winding down. Scott tells Kris he might have to stay in the BIg Apple to tie up his loose ends. And as for Kris? He tells Scott he and Kim still don’t know where they’re going to live post-NYC. Poor guy. So oblivious! (But on a lighter note, did anybody else catch that baby Mason has his own iPad? Oh, only in Kardashianland!)
Kris won’t be in the dark forever. A scene or so later, Kim (finally) tells Kris the four words a man never wants to hear: “We need to talk.” Kim says she feels “dead inside.” Both Kim and Kris agree they never hang out, and Kris admits he’s been a little hung up on basketball and hasn’t been making his wife a priority. “You are a priority to me,” Kris tells Kim, who smiles sweetly. We think it’s gonna take a lot more than one nice conversation and a few friendly trips to the gym to fix this marriage. Strike that, we know it. Kim and Kris’ first attempt to reconcile is taking a personal pilates class, and not-so-shockingly it turns into a fight and Kim splits. She also admits to the camera that she just doesn’t find K. Hump’s “outspoken” personality endearing anymore.
Later, while doing some last-minute NYC shopping, Kim tells Kourtney she should really be more supportive of Scott’s business endeavors, however ridiculous, outlandish, and nearly impossible they might be. “Maybe you’re right,” Kourtney says. “I should be more supportive. I just forget.” In the words of Homer Simpson: D’oh!
Then, Kris and Kim try to have a nice date night to smooth things over, but to sum it up in a few words, let’s just say this: It’s awk-ward! It feels like these two are meeting for the first time, not a couple who are married and living together. The conversation is forced, dry, and worst of all, bo-ring. But we have to wonder: Is it really that there’s not much for these two to talk about, or is it that there’s too much that hasn’t been talked about? Kris tells Kim he plans to move all of his stuff to L.A., and when Kim does not seem very enthused, Kris takes notice. We think it’s safe to say the only good thing about this date is Kim’s tuna tartare — and we don’t even like tuna tartare!
But at least one couple on this show is getting along. Kourtney shows up at Scott’s new restaurant locale with a big sparkling bottle of champagne to celebrate. We gotta hand it to her — girl does know how to be supportive... when she’s told to, that is.
Then, Kris talks to the camera about how he and Kim need to buy a new house together. Is it just us, or are Kris’ confessions getting more and more, well, sad? Somebody needs to fill this guy in on what’s really going on. Stat. Kim starts having panic attacks when she sees all of Kris’ boxes ready to be shipped to her house in L.A. and tells Kris he should just bring a small bag and have his things sent later. Um, hello, this is your husband! Kourtney overhears the convo and yells, “You’re such a bitch, Kim!” from somewhere off-camera. Kris’ response to the whole sitch is probably the smartest thing we’ve ever heard him say: “You’re not ready for someone in your life.” He may have a point.
As soon as Kris is gone, Kim flips out on Kourtney and tells her to stop encouraging Kris to have his boxes sent to her house. “You know my situation,” she hisses at Kourt. So, with one sister on her bad side, Kim turns to Khloe for support. Having heard the story from Kim first, Khloe obviously has Kim’s back. Then, Kourtney comes in and Kim all but has a nervous breakdown while explaining her real feelings to her sister.
“It happened way too fast, I didn’t know him!” Kim cries. Then, as luck would have it, Kris comes home in the middle of her freak-out and starts roaming the hotel looking for her. “Why do I say I’m crying?” Kim asks, and Kourt says just to not answer the door. Oh boy. Then, Scott walks in. Kim tells him she’s upset Kris wants to ship all of his boxes to her house, and that’s when he bestows this pearl of wisdom: “You do realize you’re married now, right?” And with that, Kim really loses it, but at least she finally acknowledges she can’t ignore the issue anymore. She also admits that she needs to confront it at home, away from Kourtney, Mason, and Scott — and without the cameras. Sound strategy, we’d say.
Then, despite the way things have played out on camera, we find out all of Kim’s doubts haven’t been one-sided: Kris tells his pal that he, too, is thinking he might want a divorce. “I’m just over her,” he says.
Sadly, New York wasn’t good to Kim and Kris’ marriage, but it turns out it actually reignited the spark for longtime lovers Scott and Kourtney.
As the episode draws to a close, the fab foursome share “the pit and the peak” of their entire New York trip with each other. While some pits were funny and some were gross (Scott says he didn’t get enough action), Kim’s was just sad: “My pit was living with all of you,” she says. Um, ouch.
Then, it’s the ending we’ve all been expecting. We knew the split was coming the entire season, but just like while watching Titanic, we always had a sliver of hope that there would somehow magically be a happier ending. Sadly, as the couples depart and Kim and Kris ride silently to the airport, Kris makes his final remark: “This is it babe,” he says — and we don’t think truer words have ever been spoken.