This week’s episode begins with a discussion about going to temple. The shocking part? It’s coming from none other than Scott Disick. Um, fa real? We’re not the only ones not buying the fact that Scott wants to get his religion on, though — Kourtney Kardashian tells the camera she thinks it’s just a “fad.” We guess we’ll see!
But enough about Scott’s religious misadventures. The real stars of the show, Kim Kardashian and Kourtney, are heading out to Los Angeles for business. Unfortunately, it’s going to be one awkward trip: Khloe and Kim have yet to make up after their totally brutal text message fight (the one in which Kim lovingly called her sister an “evil effing troll”). But they won’t be the only ones getting into a sticky situation this episode, because Kris Humphries and Scott are being left alone in NYC and although Kourt and Kim make it clear they don’t want any strange people brought back to their humble Gansvoort abode, well... you know. When do those boys listen to anything?
Later (but not too much later because nobody’s left for L.A. yet), Mama Jenner calls Kim with some bad news. Because Mama J knows pretty much everybody, she said she found out from some publisher that Kim’s bestie Jonathan Cheban is writing a tell-all book about Kim. Um, shocker! Even Kris Humphries — who we find out later doesn’t exactly love Jonathan — doesn’t think Kim’s go-to guy pal would pull something like this. Kim wastes no time calling Jonathan out on his bull and she invites him to dinner to confront him.
At dinner, Jonathan tells Kim about his various projects he has going on — everything from cosmetics to liquor — and brags about all the money he’s making, but fails to mention the tell-all book. Needless to say, Kim is livid. We love feisty Kim, but although we really want to be on her side, we gotta admit Jonathan seems pretty clueless as to why Kim’s ticked off. Maybe he didn’t do it after all?
While Kim’s dealing with her book blunder, Scott’s having an existential crisis of his own over his religion. Scott meets with a rabbi over some matzah ball soup to discuss wanting to “get back in the game’ of Judaism. The rabbi invites him to his temple.
Meanwhile, Kourtney encourages Kim to tweet about Jonathan’s book betrayal. Yup, it’s time for a good ol’ celebrity Twitter war! Not so shockingly, Kim immediately receives a bazillion replies — and a bunch of “crazy” ones from Jonathan. This is about to get ugly, ya’ll.
And while Kim’s away, K. Hump will play! Scott and Kris are enjoying their first night out on the town without their girls. Kris is trying super hard to convince Scott that Kim and Kourt said it was “okay” to have people over, but Scott’s not falling for it. Eventually he gives up and says Kris can do what he wants — but he’s still not condoning his behavior. Seriously man, if we were Kris, we’d listen to Scott. Guy’s been there, done that.
In L.A., Momager Kris is on a mission to grab a copy of this alleged tell-all book, in which Kourtney says Jonathan probably calls Kim a “diva bitch.” Well, leave it to Mama J to get stuff done. She isn’t afraid to pull some strings — and she also isn’t afraid to call some people out on this book. As she so eloquently puts it, “Sh*t is gonna go down.”
Later, Scott makes it to temple and gets a special shout-out from the rabbi. He looks so unbelievably nervous — and admits he has absolutely no clue what the heck is going on — but says he feels great about being there. Unfortunately, his yamaka falls off mid-service. Oops! Maybe a little less hair gel next time?
Kourt, Khloe, and Kim are having some fun of their own launching their Kardashian line in L.A. in front of 16,000 screaming fans. But at least all the chaos of the screaming fans takes the focus off Khloe and Kim’s awkwardness and Kim’s raging escalating Twitter war with Jonathan. Kind of.
Back in NYC, K. Hump is breaking rules left and right! Not only does he have like a keg set up in the Gansvoort, he also claims to have enough liquor for 300 people. He throws a pretty big rager and even jokes about giving people shots out of Mason’s sippy cups. But perhaps the craziest part of this party? Former party animal Scott Disick is the one trying to shut it down. Whodathunk? Kourtney’s taught him well!
The next morning, Scott’s still trying to talk some sense into Kris and wants him to hurry up and clean up before their lady loves get home.
Across the country, Kim finds out Jonathan’s ‘tell-all’ book is actually a sweet ‘bubblegum’ book about how to be an It girl like Kim. Uh oh.
When the girls get back to NYC, Kourtney easily spots four big vodka bottles in the corner and gets suspicious as what the boys did while they were away. As Scott says, the mess-up is “standard procedure for somebody who doesn’t know what they’re doing” (read: Kris Humphries). Hours later, Kim gets an e-mail with pictures of some randos partying in her hotel room. Somebody’s caught. Er, kind of. Scott takes one for the team and says Kris wasn’t around that night and that he threw the party on his own. While Kourtney seems pissed, we’re pretty sure she’ll get over it.
Kim, on the other hand, is not so quick to forgive. Kris confesses the party was his doing, and Kim’s pretty upset. Scott explains why he took the blame. (Hello — it’s only guy code!) But we guess the lesson’s learned: Kris says “next time” he’ll only bring over close friends, to which Kim quips: “Next time?! There won’t be a next time.”
Now that the fiasco’s over, Scott can re-focus on his religion. He comes home with “trendy” yamakas for himself and Mason, but Kourtney’s still not convinced he’s serious. What’s a guy gotta do to get some respect ‘round here?
Then, Kim, apparently having moved onto more pressing issues than Kris’ little groupie party, shows up at Jonathan’s apartment because he still won’t answer her calls. (He will, however, respond to her tweets.) Unfortunately, Jonathan will have none of it and kicks Kim out of his apartment stat. Back at home, Kris says he can’t believe that Jonathan’s that mad at her, and suggests Kim write the forward for Jonathan’s book to apologize. Kim thinks it’s a great idea and gets to work. Although she doesn’t send her “heartfelt forward,” K. Hump gets on her computer and does it for her. And get this — it works! Jonathan shows up all happy and the duo hug and make up and then go out to eat. Problem solved!
Scott, however, is still having problems convincing Kourtney how serious he is about his faith. So, he decides to put together Shabbat dinner, but while he’s setting up, Kourtney keeps poking fun at and questioning him. Since he doesn’t feel like Kourtney’s supporting him, he decides to quit about halfway through setting up. “I’m like the worst Jew ever,” he says dejectedly. Honestly, we kinda feel bad for the guy. Apparently Kourtney does too, because she apologizes. And as they say, all’s well that ends with an apology from a Kardashian woman!