Last week we saw the “beginning of the end” of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries’ fantastically short marriage on Kourtney & Kim Take New York. The new episode begins back in NYC with Kourtney telling Kim that Khloe had a talk with Kris while she was away. Clearly, this is just Kourtney’s way of trying to get her feuding siblings to talk, but Kim feels she already has too much on her plate (i.e., a crumbling marriage) to patch things up with her sis. But whose bejeweled shoulder will she have to cry on if when things don’t work out?
Well, actually, the tell-it-like-it-is Kardashian does give Kim a shoulder when the two girls finally do run into each other for the first time, but it’s a cold one! In fact, Khloe won’t even acknowledge Kim’s presence. (Then again, we don’t know if we would give someone who called us an “evil troll” the time of day, either.)
In the next scene, Scott addresses the fact that he and Kourtney don’t sleep in the same bed. He blames it on his bad sleeping habits, but we know better. Either way, he’s making it his personal mission to get back “in bed with them” (especially because, well, he’s given his bed to Khloe while she’s visiting). Oh, and when we say ‘them,’ we mean Kourtney and 2-year-old Mason.
Sadly, tonight is not Scott Disick’s night, and he ends up sleeping in his own room... on the couch. Womp womp. It’s not Khloe’s night either, apparently, since Scott popping up ruins her plans to have “intimate time” with Lamar over the phone.
Then, while Kim’s OCD is in full force, we witness a weird power struggle brewing between the newlyweds over the room’s cleanliness. What’s that we smell? The stinking aroma of an inevitable divorce?
Luckily, Kim has one person left in her corner: bestie Jonathan Cheban. She tells him how she’s in a huge “other level” fight with Khloe, and he gives it to her straight: Kim, too, played a part in the battle. In fact, she kind of started it with that whole calling Khloe an “evil troll” thing. And by kind of, we mean completely. Jonathan says the best way to smooth things over is to apologize. You don’t say?
The next day, Kim, Khloe, and Kourt have a press function for Sears. Kourt is happy because Kris Jenner is also in town and will hopefully play mediator between Khloe and Kim (so she doesn’t have to). That’s what Momagers are for, right? Mama J tells Kim she’s acting like she’s in high school, but the middle KDash still refuses to apologize. In fact, the only person who defends Kim’s bad behavior is K. Hump.
But that’s not to say the twosome are getting along. In fact, the odds of Kim and Kris actually being nice to each other these days are about as good as Scott ever getting to sleep in the same bed as his baby mama again. (Read: slim to none.) However, it can’t hurt to try, and Kourt and Scott decide to go back to their NYC marriage therapist, Erica Jaffe, who urges them to transition Mason out of bed, and Scott back in.
Back at the Gansvoort, Kim finally decides to apologize to Khloe, but it’s probably the most insincere-sounding apology on record and Khloe doesn’t accept. Rightfully so.
Although Kim and Khloe might not be making any progress, Kourtney and Scott are. After their therapy session, they end up spending one entire night in bed together. Hey, it’s a start.
Later, Kim, Kris, Kourtney, and Scott go out to eat and Kris and Kim are annoyed with each other the entire time. K Hump keeps burping in her face and talking like the Cookie Monster. Awkward!
Speaking of awkward, Kourtney tries to stage a mediation between Khloe and Kim, but things get real ugly real quick when Kim calls Khloe “shady.” Later, when Kim tries to explain the sister situation to Kris, he acts blatantly uninterested and not willing to get involved. “I could care less,” he says. Somebody get this guy the Husband of the Year Award!
Later, Kourtney convinces Scott to intervene in Khloe and Kim’s spat, and he tells Kim she really needs to watch her attitude and apologize to her sister. “I just want you to be positive,” he says. We never thought we’d see the day Scott Disick gave someone a lecture on happiness. (And speaking of things we never thought we’d see, K. Hump gets pedicures?)
However, Scott isn’t the only one who’s noticed Kim’s sour mood. Kris asks Kim why she’s acting weird, but she continues to deny that anything’s wrong. However, Kim confesses to the camera that she’s extremely emotionally unstable. Coulda guessed.
Finally, before episode’s end, Kim sits down with Khloe for some real talk. “I just want to apologize for like, being really mean,” she cries. But that’s not all: Kim admits that she’s unhappy in her own life and taking it out on everyone else. And then, Kim drops a huge, massive, KDash-sized bombshell. “I don’t like who I am in this marriage,” she admits. Ouch. She confesses that “her gut and her heart” tell her she jumped into the marriage too quickly and she feels “embarrassed.” Being the good sister she is, Khloe tells Kim she’ll support her no matter what. Good thing, because we all know what’s coming...