Tonight’s Kourtney & Kim Take New York is the first part of the season’s epic two-part season finale. We’ve been awaiting the imminent demise of Kris and Kim’s 72-day marriage, and alas, the end is near.
Tonight’s episode starts with Kim telling Kourtney she wants to meet with a medium to get in touch with her late father, Robert Kardashian Sr. Kim thinks a little chat from the other side could help ease some of the emotional pain she’s going through thanks to her failing marriage. Kourtney seems really skeptical. But let’s be real: Kim’s gonna do what Kim’s gonna do!
Apparently, Kris Humphries is gonna do what Kris Humphries is gonna do, too.That night, the basketballer tells Kim very nonchalantly that his sister Kaela is coming to visit – in less than 24 hours. Kim tells the camera she “loves” Kaela, but we’re not so sure about that – judging by Kim’s response, she seems just about as excited to hear Kaela’s coming to town as if her pet goldfish died. Either way, Kim says it’s not about Kaela, but she thinks a little heads-up would have been nice. Is there anything these two won’t fight about?
Speaking of fighting, Scott and Kourtney seem to be doing a whole lot less of it lately. While spending some QT exploring the city, the adorb duo end up getting a caricature drawn. Afterward, they realize they have no actual photos of each other (which seems rather unusual for a Kardashian), so they decide to book an old school portrait (read: painting) session. And by “they,” we mean Scott, who is for some bizarre reason absolutely obsessed with the idea of the painting.
Then, there’s another Humphries in the Big Apple! Kaela’s flight lands pretty late at night and not so shockingly, Kim doesn’t want to wait up for her because she’s too tired. As soon as she arrives, the celebutante says a quick hello and hightails it to her bedroom. With all the probs Kim and Kris are having, Kim says she’s going to have a hard time “put[ting] on a happy face” around her. We guess she decides hiding her face is the better option?
Eventually, Kim gets a call from John Edward, the medium, who was booked up but made room in his schedule for her. (But of course!) Since Kris is totally against things like mediums, psychics, and whole fat frozen yogurt, Kim decides to keep this endeavor a secret. Yet another thing for these two to fight about? We got five on it.
Later, poor Kaela asks Kris if Kim is mad at her because she’s not making one iota of effort to spend time with her while she’s in NYC. We see where Kaela’s coming from, but we kind of want to scream at her, “This is Kim Kardashian you’re talking about! Girl’s got a jam packed schedule!” However, Kris reassures her Kim isn’t ditching her on purpose. But, after getting the brush-off from Kim a few more times, Kaela decides to pack up and leave the city early! We have a feeling this is not going to go over well.
Then, it’s back to Kourtney and Scott. Scott is absolutely overjoyed when the duo’s painting arrives, but he’s in for a big surprise. He gathers Kim and Kris for the big reveal, but – gasp! – he has a UNIBROW in the portrait and gets super pissed off! Apparently, Kourtney planted the little ‘joke’ behind his back, but Scott does not think it’s funny. We may have spoken too soon about that whole fighting less thing. Oops! Oddly enough, it’s Kris who talks Kourtney into apologizing to Scott. Now, if only he could follow his own relationship advice...
Seriously though, when Kim tells Kris she’s seriously meeting with a medium, he ends up locking himself in their bedroom. We get that they have a difference of opinion, but for real? How old are we again? When he finally emerges from their boudoir, he runs into the elevator and won’t say a word to his wife. Real mature.
Luckily, Kim does have one reasonable person in her life. Although she was not into it at first, Kourtney tells Kim she’ll support her when she goes to see the medium (which oddly enough is happening on the eighth anniversary of their father’s death). The guy seems pretty legit and knows a lot about their family. Even Kourtney has tears in her eyes! And, in hindsight (and knowing all that we know about every aspect of everything Kardashian) we caught a few things, too. Crazy enough, the medium says he feels someone will be getting pregnant soon and the babies will have a connection to the Gemini sign. As we all know now, Kourtney is pregnant and the babies are due in June. Got that one right!
The medium also tells Kim that her father wants to know if she’s “learned anything” from her latest marriage, and that’s when Kim officially loses it. After he leaves, she breaks down and says the seven words we’ve been waiting to hear all season: “I don’t want to be married anymore.” Dun dun dun!