Another week, another two episodes of Kourtney & Kim Take New York! Tonight’s double dose of KKTNY took us from homey Connecticut to dramatic Dubai and back again. As if that isn’t exciting enough, as the promo touts, tonight marks “the beginning of the end” of Kim Kardashian’s marriage to NBA beau Kris Humphries. You can say that again!
It all starts at Barry’s Boot Camp, where Kim and Kourt are tryin’ to get their workout on, but can’t do a single curl without the paparazzi all up in their biz. All the attention has Kourtney at whit’s end, and she decides the only way to get away from it all is to, well, get away from it all. With that, the socialite sisters decide to go on a “sisters’ weekend” to Mystic, Connecticut (which sounds fake but actually isn’t). Kourt’s man Scott is slightly offended Kourt doesn’t invite him, but c’mon man. You guys don’t even sleep in the same bed, are you really that surprised?
Later, the famous foursome (that’s Scott, Kourtney, Kim, and Kris) meet for some afternoon drinks and Kris announces that he’s been offered tons of cash to host an event in Toronto. And — obvi — he wants to go.
Kim doesn’t seem very thrilled with Kris’ decision — and after she mentions that the last time the twosome were away from each other Kris and Scott threw a massive hotel party, we can’t help but see where she’s coming from. Hopefully this time she can trust her NBA hubbie — but knowing what we know about this marriage, we highly doubt it.
Then, Kourtney and Kim take baby Mason to the peaceful, drama-free town of Mystic, and visit the town’s aquarium. Turns out, it’s not just little Mace who has a great time, but all the sea lions, penguins, and fishies are just what the doctor ordered for Kourt and Kim, too.
Back in NYC, Kris and Scott make the super-smart decision to head north despite their wife’s/baby mama’s orders. Scott is a little apprehensive, but elects to go ahead since he’s still bitter Kourt didn’t invite him on “sisters’ weekend.” Oh, brother. We know what that means: binge drinking ahead!
Turns out we’re right, and Kris and Scott’s night in Toronto is one big sloshfest — complete with lots of sparklers, one stalker-y ex-girlfriend of Kris’s, and plenty of (filmed) embarrassing moments for Scott. Surprisingly, when Scott starts gettin’ crazy with a capital ‘C’, it’s Kris who steps up to the plate and tells the former playboy to tone it down. Scott ends up peeing in the corner in some building, but Kris rescues him before he does something worse. (What’s worse than peeing in a building? You don’t even wanna know.) At least somebody remembered cameras were rolling!
Meanwhile, Kim finds out via Twitter that the dudes are partying it up in T-town against their orders. “I never thought Kris would be that guy,” she says. Well, you live and you learn!
The next day, Kim still hasn’t heard from Kris. “This is the stuff that breaks trust,” she remarks on the limo ride home. Gotta agree with her there.
Scott and Kris are also on their way back to the Big Apple when Kris realizes he missed 12 texts from Kim. He also realizes something else: She’s gonna be ma-ad. As soon as she gets home, Kim grills Kris about his trip. “How would you feel if I went out of the country to work and didn’t tell you?” she gripes. Kris’s response? “Stop stalking me on Twitter!” Right. ‘Cause that’s the real issue here. Kris apologizes, but it doesn’t seem very heartfelt. Could there be trouble in paradise? Yes, yes there could.
By the time the second half hour rolls around, the tables have turned. Kim and Momager Kris Jenner booked a business trip to Dubai. This time, Kris is staying home with Kourt, Scott, and Khloe, who is visiting. Khloe makes it her personal mission to get on K. Hump’s good side to hopefully mend the awkward fight she’s been having with Kim.
Kourt and Khloe have a fabulous, fun time while Kim’s away. They eat salads, go shopping, and overall make each other laugh. Kourt’s only problem these days seems to be Kris Humphries and the way he treats her and Kim. She thinks it’s high time they gave him a taste of his own medicine — with a fun prank call. Oh, those girls.
Halfway ‘round the globe, Kim and Kris J are having a blast too. Not only do they have a “stunning” hotel, an adorb butler, and get to ride camels, Kim also rakes in major bucks doing appearances. And for as much as the KDashes love Dubai, Dubai loves them back even more!
Back in the Big Apple, Kourt and Khloe are still trying to prank Kris Humphries. They decide on the perfect prank: letting a snake loose in their hotel. Turns out, everybody (but Kourtney) is freaked out by the reptilian beast. Afterward, they decide to invite him to see animals — caged ones — at the zoo. However, Khloe remarks that he’s very stand off-ish the entire time. Who can be in a bad mood at the zoo? Khloe tries to get him to open at home with no such luck.
Sadly, Kim and Mama J’s Dubai adventure has come to an end — and she opens up to her mom. Kim says it’s “refreshing” to be away from Kris and decides to call on Mama J for some advice. “I just feel like something’s off,” she says. Mama J’s reply? Not wanting to go home to your “brand new” husband is not good.
Repeat: Not. Good.
Next week, things get even grittier between the reality newlyweds!