One hour-long episode just couldn't contain all the drama last night! Are you ready for some serious baby-foreshadowing? This episode of Kourtney & Kim Take Miami opens with Kim Kardashian out shopping with her friend Larsa. Kim’s so cute with Larsa’s adorable daughter that she says, “I can’t wait for you to be a mom.” Well, friend, you won’t have to wait long!
The drama level of Kim’s concerned confessional about her fertility is pretty low, considering that the entire world knows that she’s now pregnant. But it’s still touching to hear Kim describe her doctor visits and finding out that she, at 31, had the egg level of a woman in her 50s: “Maybe this just isn’t in the cards for me, and I’m freaking out a little bit.”
Back at the ranch, Khloe steals a unicorn planter thingie, because why not? She and Kourtney smuggle it into the elevator with a man that Khloe thinks reeks to high heaven, but soon she discovers it’s really—gasp—Kourtney!
Kourtney’s own boyfriend Scott Disick backs up her discovery. “Oh yeah, she reeks,” he says, apparently because Kourtney doesn’t believe in wearing deodorant while she’s breast-feeding. They then talk about how smelly Kourtney is for a really long time.
With her B.O. mystery solved, Khloe goes with Scott to look for office space, and this, friends, is where the greatest TV romance of the year begins. The guy showing Scott the space also manages racecar drivers, and he introduces Scott to his new bestie, a well-coiffed racer named Chapman. Khloe nails it: “A bromance is a-brewin, baby!” Scott put it more hilariously: “Should I leave Kourtney now or later for this guy?”
Kourtney is decidedly less enthused about this new pal. He’s going to take Scott racing. Kourtney’s response? “It’s not very safe.”
There’s more baby talk at Jonathan’s house, where Kim arrives dressed for the Oscars. Apparently Kim is second-guessing if she even wants to have kids! “I feel like Kourtney, after she had the second baby, she looks like a slob-kebab at all times,” she says, and Kim isn’t sure she can handle that. What?! Jonathan is unconvinced. “I think it’s meant to be that you’ll have kids.” (Side note: we’re calling everyone slob-kebabs from now on.)
Scott and Kourtney go on a double date with Chapman and his wife, and the dude sparks are a-flying. Scott starts to say something really sweet about wanting to drive race cars until he fell in love with his son, but he gets sidetracked explaining that guys like him and Chapman are so in love with themselves that they jerk off thinking about themselves. Hey, it happens.
Kourtney is happy Scott made a friend, but no way is she letting him take up this super dangerous hobby! Sorry, Scott.
The next day, Kim still can’t handle Kourtney the stinky slob-kebab! “You act like you have literally 500 children,” she tells Kourt, who is bouncing baby Penelope and wearing sweats. “Talk to me once you have a child,” says Kourtney. Ohhh, the foreshadowing is killing us!
Later, Scott and Kourtney have this unfortunate exchange:
Scott: “I can’t wait to get in this race car.”
Kourtney: “You’re not going in the race car.”
Scott tries explaining all the safety measures in racing, but Kourtney won’t be swayed. How does this conversation end? “I forbid you to do it.”
And then: To be continued! Will Scott drive the race car? Will Kourtney still stink? We’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to see how this nail-biter ends!