With all the chatter about fertility and virility, there were quite a few quotable quotes to be heard from the gang on last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Here are a dozen of our faves:

Disick Half Dozen?
Scott [to Kourtney, about how many kids she wants]: That's six ... I don’t want to be outnumbered by my children

The Only Guaranteed Form of Birth Control
Scott: There’s no way to have sex with you ever again.
Kourtney: (Shrugging) Okay.

Don't Call Mom Old(-Fashioned)
Kylie [to Kris]: You are sixty years old and you have Jordans. So I stole them.

Stay Perky
Kris: Who’s kidding who? The times are changing, and my boobs have to keep up.

Light Meat or Dark Meat?
Khloe [to Kourtney about Scott]: The back side of his body is albino, and the front is like leather.

It’s the Drugs Talking
Kylie: I’m actually starting to think my mom should get more surgery because she’s telling us we can get anything in her closet.

29 Years Old, 2 Kids and Counting
Scott: I’m too young to have fifteen kids running around. That’s why, you know, I may have to snip ‘em … I’m not going to tell her, I’ll just be shooting blanks ... I gotta take things into my own hands, no pun intended, and I gotta snip snip where I gotta be snipped.

One of Each, Please!
Scott [to Kris]: It’s not a drive through at all [but] I got the combo, no biscuit.

Stitches Galore
Khloe: They’re like Frankenstein boobs.

Vas Deferens of Opinions
Scott [to Kourtney]: I was just checking my options. So now you’re getting a little bit of your own medicine on how you treat me.

The Dirty Drawer
Kendall [while snooping through Kris’s bedroom]: Fifty Shades of Grey? Mom!?

Don’t Let “What Ifs” Get You Down
Khloe [at the fertility clinic]: What if eggs don’t come?

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