Credit: Kelly Clarkson on Twitter Photo: Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock

Today, Kelly Clarkson may be a happy newlywed and excited mommy-to-be, but it wasn’t always that way. In a new interview with Parade, Kelly remembers her many holidays spent alone.

“Every Christmas, it was like, ‘Seriously? I’m still pathetically alone? Awesome. I’m still telling people I’m okay with it? I’m not,’” Kelly admitted to the mag of her days feeling like many single girls do over the holiday season.

But when she met Brandon, that was all over for good. “In my head, I was like, ‘I’m already married to you!’” Kelly said.

Besides her years spent single, Kelly’s been pretty lucky in love. Out of her three serious relationships before meeting her husband, only one of them treated her badly enough to warrant angry, heartbroken songs — someone Kelly describes as “a real stinker” she “made a lot of money off of.” And we’d like to thank him, because without him, the classic Since U Been Gone would never have been possible.

Now, the only songs Kelly’s singing are love songs.

“We both wrote our own vows, and it was hard to get through them, but I did it,” Kelly said of her quiet October wedding to Brandon. “Brandon was like, ‘The Notebook ain’t got nothin’ on me — come on!’”

Source: Parade