This week on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the focus was all about virility and fertility. Scott Disick wars over whether to get a vasectomy with the coming of baby number two with Kourtney, Kris Jenner gets her boob job touched up, and Kim convinces Khloe to join her for a visit to a fertility clinic. Here’s a recap!
A very pregnant Kourtney is in a frenzy to get the final housework projects completed. The casa’s getting fancified — with a toilet that flushes itself even — so she suggests the idea of having even more children than just Mason and baby-to-be. The house can probably fit four more, she notes. “I don’t want to be outnumbered by my children,” Scott declares.
Kourtney grew up with a lot of siblings, so she wants a big family. She also doesn’t believe in the pill anymore, by the way. Khloe thinks this is crazy, especially since Scott doesn’t want to wear, um, protection. “There’s no way to have sex with you ever again,” Scott threatens. “Okay,” she says with a shrug.
Back at the Jenner house, Kris isn’t pleased with Kylie and Kendall rummaging through her closet. “It’s not a boutique up there,” she says. “We think some of your stuff looks better on a younger generation,” Kylie quips. Apparently, this has become a big problem in the Jenner household: it’s not called “borrowing” when they lose things or give them away. “You are sixty years old and you have Jordans, so I stole them,” Kylie says. Kris corrects her: She’s actually 56. Kendall proceeds to tweet her age out to the public. Kris isn’t thrilled the girls are tweeting “bad things” about their mother, but she’s gotta jet because she’s getting her breasts redone. She got her first boob job back in 1989, and they’re way too big at this point. “Who’s kidding who? The times are changing, and my boobs have to keep up,” she says. The doc says he can lift them and make her look thinner in the process.
Kourtney, Kim and Khloe are hanging out when the news comes out that Scott’s heading to Vegas for his birthday. He shows up in a skimpy bathing suit. He’s gotta get his tan on before the big trip. “The back side of his body is albino, and the front is like leather,” Khloe observes.
At the clinic, Kris is surprised when her friends Joyce, Sheila and Shelly show up to support her going under the knife. But it’s helpful because she is super nervous.
Later, Scott arrives to Vegas with his buddies. “I have one last trip before the new child comes, and luckily I’m going to celebrate my birthday at One Oak in Vegas,” Scott says. “I know this is going to be my last hurrah so I better enjoy it.”
Kris wakes up from the surgery and it’s a success. The doc shows the camera what he removed versus put back in, and the size difference is not terribly dramatic. Kendall and Kylie call to check in with their mother. She’s a little out of it right now but feels fine. “My little bunny, I miss you too angel pie, it’s so sweet to call,” Kris coos. She’s obviously medicated, as Kendall points out. “Since you’re there, can I borrow that like green striped top of yours?” Kendall requests. “I’m actually starting to think my mom should get more surgery because she’s telling us we can get anything in her closet,” Kylie notes.
Meanwhile, Scott and his buddies, Joe and Chris, chat about Kourtney wanting more kids. “I’m too young to have fifteen kids running around,” he says, expressing interest in getting a vasectomy. “That’s why, you know, I may have to snip ‘em … I’m not going to tell her, I’ll just be shooting blanks. I gotta take things into my own hands, no pun intended, and I gotta snip snip where I gotta be snipped.” Joe wisely notes that Kourtney’s probably already got a contingency plan in place, so Scott’s in for a rude awakening. Scott gets a warm, festive welcome at the club and even agrees to a photo op with a cutout of Kourtney’s face.
When he gets back, Scott and Kim decide to visit Kris to see her “new knockers.” Scott jokes, “When I got my first penis reduction, I was in the room across the way.” Then he insists Kim needs to get her hands tightened up because they’re beginning to sag. The subject switches to Scott’s feelings over the new baby. “I’m excited. I mean I’m nervous too because I don’t know how different it is to have a girl.” He says it’s good they have both in case they have no more. “It’s not a drive through at all [but] I got the combo, no biscuit.”
Back at home, Kylie and Kendall are ransacking Kris’ closet. They’re lucky she has good stuff because they’ve got to be stylish for their gig as correspondents for Seventeen Magazine. Bruce drops in on them and is surprised to learn they’re rummaging through the closet with their mom’s permission.
Kourtney suggests ginger-carrot soup for dinner, but Scott doesn’t think that sounds inviting. Scott says he’s not interested but wants to go to the doctor for a physical. She praises him for the responsible decision to see the doctor, not know what he has planned. He goes to at least find out some more information about the procedure, learning that it’s a couple of small incisions and clipping the vas deferens. He tells the doc he doesn’t want to tell Kourtney about it, but there are parts of the process that’ll tip her off: He’ll be shaved, he’ll have to stop having sex for at least a week, and it’s a permanent solution. He doesn’t think it’ll a problem avoiding sex, unless Kourtney gets sneaky and tries to seduce him somehow.
Scott calls Rob to chat about things, and Rob thinks Scott should definitely speak to Kourtney before going through with it. That’s not exactly the news Scott wanted to hear. “Next time you hear from me, I’ll be shooting blanks. Thanks bro,” he closes.
Kris arrives back home and invites the whole family over. She wants to show them something. “Show us what, you f**king weirdo?” Khloe asks. “Where’s Joe Francis when you need him?” Scott jokes. Kris does admit she still has a lot of stitches. The girls are grossed out. “Why are we looking at anything that’s not healed yet people?” Khloe screeches. “They’re like Frankenstein boobs.” She thinks Kris’s insistence is “actually like molestation or something.”
Kourtney shows off the baby’s room to Kim. It’s a beautiful peach with lots of cutesy accoutrements. “Seeing Kourtney prepare for her baby girl … as young as I feel, I still have this feeling like one day I can’t wait ‘til I do have kids,” Kim says. Mason comes in and gets all adorable about being a big boy who’s too big for the crib.
Kris goes to her closet and realizes a jacket is missing. Bruce reminds her that the girls were told they could borrow things. “While I was on drugs?” Kris asks. “Pretty smart,” he answers. She’s now planning to turn her closet into Fort Knox to avoid this happening again.
Scott’s looking especially snazzy as he gets ready to meet up with some friends. Kourtney’s suspicious because he won’t say who. “Am I supposed to run everything past you?” Scott asks. “You didn’t invite me,” she snaps. “You don’t run anything past me,” he says back. Like getting off birth control and wanting more kids. That’s when she drops the bomb that Rob told her about him going to check out vasectomy information without telling her. “Whatever,” he snaps. “I didn’t do anything, by the way … I knew you’d have some big opinion,” he says. “I was just checking my options. So now you’re getting a little bit of your own medicine on how you treat me.”
Khloe and Kim are hanging out when Kim announces that she wants to visit a fertility clinic. Khloe wonders why she wants to go, and she says she wants to “freeze [her] eggs or something.” Really, it seems like just a segue to chat about Khloe’s situation. “What if I don’t hear what I want to hear?” Khloe asks. “Then you figure it out,” Kim answers. She’ll make an appointment for the two of them, but Khloe’s not too thrilled about the idea of finding out bad news.
Rob, Khloe, and Kourtney visit Kim’s house. Kourt tells them about confronting Scott for checking out the vasectomy. Kourtney says she wasn’t declaring their decision to have more kids, but Kim and Khloe note that she does want a lot of children and should perhaps work with Scott on these sort of things rather than deciding for herself. “He thinks he’s just like your baby-maker, and like what is my only purpose to have sex with you twice a year and oh you happen to get pregnant two times,” Rob tells her.
Kylie and Kendall, prepping to go out for the day, try to snag some shoes from Kris’ closet and find that it’s been locked. “What if Mom and Dad are in there?” Kylie fears. They start to scour the room for a key and find a few things they don’t want to see, like a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Kris catches ‘em in the act and tells them it’s going to be like a public library from here on: They’ll have to return everything they borrow. The girls think it’s absurd, but go along with it. They’ve both selected some pretty pricey bags, by the way. Kendall’s going to try and find a loophole to the new “well-oiled machine” of a system.
Back at Kourtney and Scott’s, she starts to lecture him on going out while she’s about to give birth. “You need to grow up,” she insists. He answers that she tells him so little about what she’s doing that she’d probably go off and give birth without saying anything. She needs to start clueing him in on her baby-making plans or else he’ll go get that vasectomy. “I wasn’t making decision what I’m doing for my future,” Kourtney says. “Those are thoughts that I have and I’m allowed to have them.” “So am I,” Scott says. They agree to run things by each other from here on out. He deserves to have an opinion on the size of their family, she concedes.
At the fertility clinic, Khloe admits she would rather go with her sister than Lamar so that if something’s wrong she can digest it before explaining it to him. Looking at the statistics, Kim realizes that she’s in a worse position than Khloe since she’s three and a half years older. They both go through with an ultrasound and bloodwork. The results show that because Khloe’s taken the pill her hormones are low and she might not have ovulated.
Khloe’s left anxious as they speak to the doctor about the rest of the results. Kim’s results are promising. She can freeze her eggs as soon as she pleases. Khloe, meanwhile, did not ovulate this month. There are some complicated reasons for it, but the bottom line is that her inconsistent ovulation is an issue. In her interview, Khloe’s reduced to tears over the situation. “I’m … I don’t know,” she says, sobbing.
In next week’s exciting episode, Khloe presents Lamar with her bad news, Bruce reacquaints with the Olympics, and Kourtney gives birth!
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